Call Me Crazy
by bechloehuh
Summary: "Do the voices ever say nice things to you? You know, like…" she moved so her head was beside Chloe's ear, smiling as she whispered, "Your hair smells like cupcakes." And Chloe laughed at Beca as she stepped back. "Or- or, um… I think you look beautiful today... Or," she paused, stepping closer to Chloe, putting her head beside hers. "I don't want to leave you."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Quick warning: This fic is based on the movie 'Call Me Crazy' with Brittany Snow. Meaning that it will be dealing with mental issues, such as schizophrenia, self-harm, depression, and suicide. I'm not claiming to be an expert on stuff like this, so I apologise if any of the information or anything is incorrect. I also suggest that you don't read this if you feel that these things will trigger you. Just to get that out of the way.**

* * *

**Call Me Crazy**

Chloe drew in a breath, holding it in for a moment before exhaling it as she sat down, trying not to make eye contact with the other people sitting in the circle around her. There was a blonde girl sitting to the right of her, whose posture was suspiciously orthodox to say it was only a support group. Next to the blonde was a brunette girl, who was wearing a particularly – Chloe would called it – provocative blue t-shirt. Beside her was a butch, African American woman and the support leader, Janet. At the side of her were two boys, who looked like they were friends, but they could have been related too. And then on her left-hand-side was another brunette, this one a little smaller – petite, even – who was tapping her feet on the ground while biting her nails.

She looked to be staring off into space, her eyes glossed over as if she was daydreaming. Which, Chloe guessed, she probably was. She didn't particularly look like the type of person who would want to be here, but then again, who _would_ want to be here?

"So is everybody here?"

The redhead looked around, noticing how nobody had answered Janet's question. The older woman didn't dwell on it though. Instead she just smiled to the group, and placed her hands on her knees as she leaned forward a little on her chair.

"So… why don't we start this session off by introducing ourselves?" Janet smiled, obviously trying to bring light to the situation. The redhead caught her eye, and she could tell that the older woman was helpless. So she took another deep breath and sat up in her chair.

"My name's Chloe." Everybody looked at her and she gulped. "Chloe Beale. I'm a, um... I go to law school... Well, I was-I **_went_** to law school."

"Chloe." Janet smiled at her, and the others all just looked at her with blank faces. She lowered her head, trying not to let her anxiety overtake her. These people were all in here for mostly the same reason, but she still couldn't help but feel intimidated by them all.

"Why are you here, Chloe?"

She looked up, feeling her heart start to beat faster in her chest.

"I, uh... I was-I'm… I-"

"-She's a schizo freak." The brunette boy – the one with the fluffy hair and puppy-dog face – interrupted with a smirk on his face, and the boy beside him snapped his head around to frown at him.

"Jesse!" he hissed with a glare, and the brunette boy just smirked.

"What? I saw them bring her in. She was all strapped down and screaming. Didn't you hear her? She looked like she-"

"-Jesse, I think that's enough." Janet snapped.

"Stop being an asshole and have some common decency."

Chloe turned her head to her left, seeing the small brunette beside her staring daggers at Jesse. Her foot was no longer tapping on the floor, but instead her legs were crossed on the chair, her fingers drumming on her knees.

She didn't know why this girl defended her, but she was thankful for it. Very thankful, in fact. She tried to send a smile her way, but the brunette wasn't looking at her.

"Now... who else?"

They went around the group introducing themselves. The blonde girl beside Chloe was named Aubrey, and she was here because of an eating disorder. She didn't explain much though, just that her father put so much pressure on her to be the perfect daughter and lawyer that it led to bulimia, and she's been in the hospital for a week.

The brunette girl beside Aubrey was named Stacie, who was here because of a class-A drug addiction. She started to sleep with men for money after that, to pay for the drugs, which is why she's here.

The African woman named Cynthia Rose was here because of a gambling addiction, which led her to doing drugs, and she had been here for two weeks, and was due to leave in another two weeks.

Jesse, who also apologised to Chloe for his outburst, admitted that he had multiple personality disorder, and he had been in for two months. Also mentioning that he's pretty sure he's not gonna get better.

And the boy next to him was named Benji, and he explained that he had Asperger's Syndrome. The only person who hadn't introduced themselves, was the brunette on the left of Chloe.

"Beca?" Janet said, looking at the brunette. "Do you want to introduce yourself?"

"Nope."

Jesse smirked at this, a goofy grin overtaking his face, and Janet frowned.

"I think you should introduce yourself for the people who don't know you." Janet said to her, and Beca let out a heavy breath of air.

"I'm Beca."

"Beca."

"Beca Mitchell."

"And...?"

"And I really don't wanna be here. Can we just… do the music thing? I wanna go do the music therapy. Can we do that, please?" The brunette went to stand up, but Janet held a hand up to her. She rolled her eyes as she sat back down cross-legged with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Beca, I think you should tell the others about yourself." Janet said after a beat of silence, immediately causing the brunette to clench her teeth.

"I don't want to."

"Bec-"

The brunette shook her head, taking deep breaths as she rested her elbows on her knees and put her head in her hands. Immediately, Chloe reached her arm out and tentatively placed it on Beca's thigh. The brunette snapped her head up and looked up at her with raised her eyebrows.

"It's okay." Chloe whispered, immediately retracting her arm afterwards. She looked around the group to see that they were all looking at her, as well as Beca, who she could feel staring a hole in the side of her head. She just put her head down again and stared at the floor, crossing her arms over her stomach as the session went on.

"Okay, so today-"

"-I tried to commit." The redhead's head shot up at the sound of Beca's small voice, which came out in a hoarse murmur. "It's why I came off my meds."

She looked at the brunette with weary eyes, but Beca just smiled awkwardly at her, averting her eyes to play with a stray piece of string hanging from her plaid shirt. The brunette looked upset, maybe even depressed – which was acceptable in a place like this – and Chloe couldn't help but feel for the young girl. That's if she was in fact younger than her. She didn't look very old, and Chloe found herself wanting to know why Beca would do that to herself.

Not wanting to push though, she watched Beca cross her legs on her chair again, and she gulped before whispering, "me too."

* * *

"I hear you. Ha! I know!" a sharp gasp echoed in the room. "I know! G-go! Flow. Joe! Joe? D-doe. Go!"

Chloe rubbed her eyes, trying to block out the sound of her roommate pacing the room, shouting things to herself and laughing. Her name was Jessica, and she was also schizophrenic, but hers was much worse than Chloe's. The redhead wanted to know why the hell they put her in a room with another schizo though, surely that wasn't one of the best ideas.

And truthfully, she was terrified. She knows what the disorder can do to people. She knows exactly what can happen when the voices get too loud. She just thanks God that she has an emergency button above her bed.

With another sigh, she pulled her comforter up over her head and squeezed her eyes shut, trying her hardest to block out the girl's voice.


	2. Chapter 2

"Chloe, sweetie. How are you doing?"

Chloe sat silently, her finger tips tapping on her bottom lip – a common occurrence since she got diagnosed – as she stared out of the window. Her legs were tucked in front of her, trying to make herself as small as she could.

"Chloe?"

She raised her eye brows and her forehead creased as her eyes met Janet's.

"Yeah? Sorry, I... I zoned out. Sorry."

"That's okay." Her therapist smiled gently at her. "So, you had another schizophrenic episode yesterday. That's why you were brought in here. Correct?"

Chloe just nodded, turning her head to look out of the window. There were people walking around, and people sat down eating their lunch, all with grim, miserable looks on their faces. Almost everyone were eating or walking alone, but there were a few people sat in groups of three or four. Although there seemed to be a few groups of friends, almost none of them looked like they were actually happy. Which was obviously acceptable. I mean, who can be happy in a place like this? Who can even smile in a place like this?

Barden Psychiatric Hospital was quite large, meaning that there was a fair number of people here. There were different rooms, most of which Chloe hadn't been in, that had numbers and plaques on the doors. In the main part of the hospital, there were games rooms, where people could sit around, watch TV, play pool, or just read a book. However, Chloe hadn't been there yet. Her roommate, Jessica, had been, but she said that it wasn't as pleasant as it sounds. Also in the pain part, was the cafeteria, the classrooms, and the different therapy rooms.

Chloe was staying in the left wing, and she hadn't even been outside yet, despite the fact that she has all access to the grounds. The only place she had stayed since she arrived was her room. Today though, she had therapy. And she wasn't particularly thrilled to be here, talking about her illness, but she had no other choice.

She wasn't interested in any of the other people here either. All she wanted to focus on was getting better, and getting out of here. She had no intention of getting close to anybody, despite how much she wanted to make friends, and actually act like a normal human being. Like the people in her support group for example.

The blonde, Aubrey something, and Stacie – they both seemed really nice. And Beca. She still wasn't sure why the brunette had stuck up for her yesterday, or why she seemed okay with Chloe putting her hand on her thigh when she started to panic. And Chloe, don't get her wrong, she's never been bothered with physical contact ever since her diagnosis, she neither loves it nor hates it, but even she couldn't deny the spark that she felt when she touched Beca.

She found herself thinking about the small brunette. Looking at Beca, you wouldn't think that she would be suicidal. Depressed? Hardly. A little closed off? Yes. But not suicidal. It just goes to show that people don't always come across as how you perceive them in your head. Another thing she's learned since her diagnosis. Back to Beca though, Chloe still doesn't know much about her. All she knows is that she tried committing suicide. She doesn't know how or why, because Beca hadn't opened up to the group that much other than her little input yesterday. But Chloe felt that if she would wait, and be patient with her, Beca would tell her. Hopefully.

"Chloe. Are you listening?"

Chloe suddenly looked up again, heaving a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Janet smiled. "Are your wrists okay?"

She sniffed, inhaling a sharp breath as she looked down at her wrists. Her wrists that now had dark, harsh bruises around them. She sucked in another breath, held it for a moment before letting it go again, but didn't say anything. Her eyes started to dart around the room again as she tapped her fingers on her bottom lip, trying not to make eye contact with Janet.

"I'm sorry they had to strap you down like that. And I'm sorry that Jesse teased you about it."

"It's not his fault." She whispered hoarsely, shaking her head as she turned to stare at the floor. She didn't see Janet smile sympathetically at her, nor did she see the silhouette approach the door, ready to knock.

"Chloe, we're trying to help you get better. How come you stopped taking your medication?"

The brunette was about to knock on the small window on the door, but stopped when she heard Chloe's name. She moved so she couldn't be seen, but she could still hear their conversation due to the door being quite thin. She held her breath, suspecting that if she so much as breathed too heavily, Chloe would hear her and see that she was eavesdropping. She wasn't eavesdropping though, really. She just wanted to know more about Chloe. She never understood schizophrenia, and she figured that if she couldn't find the guts to actually ask Chloe, then why not hear it second hand?

"I wanted to prove to you..." Chloe paused, placing her hands on her lap. "I wanted to prove to you that you were wrong."

"Wrong about what?"

She clenched her jaw, immediately wiping the tear that slid down her face. At this, she caught sight of the bruises on her wrist again, and she sucked in a breath before letting it out. Her eyes darted around the room for a few seconds, before settling on Janet's desk.

"Wrong about me. About my diagnosis."

She bit the inside of her mouth, trying not to start crying. It was bad enough that she had to do this, never mind start crying in front of her therapist. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"But you're not wrong. I have schizophrenia."

Beca, sensing the vulnerability in Chloe's voice, chose that now was a good time to knock on the door. As she did, she pulled her sleeves up passed her wrists so that Janet, or Chloe, couldn't see them.

"Come in!"

She slowly opened the door, peaking her head around it and looking at them both with curiosity. Janet was sat with her hands clasped together on her desk, and Chloe had her back faced towards Beca.

"What can I do for you?"

"Um, I don't mean to be a bother but..." she paused, seeing Chloe turn around at the sound of her voice. She gave the redhead a quizzical look as Chloe suddenly folded her arms, away from the brunette's line of sight, before looking back at Janet. "I just finished my therapy session. Dr Cannon wants to see you. He said it was pretty urgent."

"Oh." The older woman nodded as she stood up, picking up her coat from the back of her chair. She turned towards Chloe, who stood up and hugged her arms to her body. The redhead was trying her hardest not to look at Beca, but every now and then, her eyes would roam over the brunette's petite frame.

"I'm sorry I had to cut this session short, but I'll see you in tomorrow's session. Okay?"

The redhead just nodded, following Janet out of her room. She couldn't help but notice how Beca had stayed behind, and for a second, she thought she had stayed behind for her. But then the brunette started walking away, with Janet following her, and realised that she was taking the older woman to wherever Dr Cannon was.

With another sigh, looking around the hallway, she folded her arms across her chest and made her way back to her room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chloe was sat up straight in the cafeteria, trying to ignore the way she thought everybody was staring at her, even though she was pretty sure that they weren't. But in this place, having only been here for three days, it was kinda hard to tame her anxiety.

There was a girl sitting a few tables away from her, and every now and then she would throw a cheerio up in the air and try and catch it in her mouth, even though she missed every time, and the floor was scattered in them. And there was a boy at the table next to her, who only looked to be about 18 or 19, who was cleaning the grease off of his bacon before taking little nibbles of it, and then going back to cleaning it again. And there was an old man who looked like he was praying, along with a younger looking man beside him, watching him with attentive eyes.

Her jumper was pulled up passed her wrists, and her hands were rested in her lap as she looked down at her breakfast, sighing at the cold eggs that were laying on her plate. They didn't particularly look appealing, but she was starving, since the only thing she had eaten yesterday was a piece of chicken and some tomatoes.

"Chloe." A voice hissed, followed by some incoherent, taunting sounds, and she closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip.

**_It's just your imagination_**, she told herself, trying not to shiver when she heard a hissing sound in her ear.

"Chloe."

**_Please not now_**.

"Chloeeee."

The redhead breathed out a heavy breath and brought her hand up to her face, her fingers shaking as they inched closer to her ears. Flashbacks rang through her brain, flashbacks of how she ended up here, and she closed her eyes tighter to the point where she could see the veins on her eyelids.

* * *

**_"_****_Chloe."_**

**_Chloe's head shot up from where she was reading her Law of Torts textbook. She had been studying late in the library when the librarian at school had told her that she could stay and study, only if she locked up afterwards and left the key under the mat when she left. It was nearing midnight now, and she was almost falling asleep. But she had an exam tomorrow, and she had to go over her book once more, just in case she had missed anything. Despite the fact that she had read it countless numbers of times._**

**_She shook her head and turned the page, clearing her throat before she started reading._**

**_"_****_No one could ever accuse tort law of being under-theorized." She read out loud, in a quiet, mumbled whisper. "Corrective justice theorists, lawyer-economists, critical legal theorists and feminists have all contributed to the literature, even though-" A loud bang interrupted her, and she jumped. She looked over towards the other side of the library, and frowned as she took her glasses off._**

**_"_****_Chloe!"_**

**_She closed her book and stood up, walking over to the bookshelf from where she heard the noise. There was nobody there though, but the voices wouldn't stop._**

**_"_****_Chloe. Chloe, look!"_**

**_She turned around, sucking in a sharp gasp and her legs almost gave way; her hands suddenly shooting out to hold onto the bookshelf for dear life, when she noticed that the library was now a huge path of books. She couldn't see the desk that she was sitting in a minute ago. Instead there were just books, endless, interminable amounts and shelves of books. Countless extents of books, that all seemed to be staring straight at her, taunting at her and yelling at her._**

**_"_****_Chloe run!"_**

**_"_****_Listen to me!"_**

**_"_****_You can't run!"_**

**_She felt her heartbeat quicken, her mind swinging back and forth as she tried to sort the voices out. There were too many of them though, and neither of them were any voices she could recognize. They were deafeningly loud, and she couldn't even form any coherent thoughts. All she could do was try her hardest to block the voices out, and she didn't even notice the tears streaming down her face, or her hands shaking mercilessly._**

**_"_****_NO!" she screamed, pulling at her hair as she tried to get out of the maze of bookshelves. But the voices were getting louder, and there were more of them with every passing second. She slapped her hands over her ears, pushing them into the sides of her head as she tried to escape._**

**_"_****_We're everywhere!"_**

**_"_****_You can't escape from us!"_**

**_Tears streamed down her face, and she tried her hardest to block the voices out but it was no use._**

**_"_****_Please let me out!" she cried out in a piercingly loud scream. "Please, stop!"_**

"Don't eat that!"

Her eyes shot open and she suddenly turned her head to the side at the sound, seeing Beca's face inches away from her own. She breathed out a heavy sigh of relief, trying to ignore how her heart was pounding in her chest. The brunette then moved to rest her mouth beside her other ear and whispered, "The eggs are gross."

She let out a soft breath when Beca moved her head to her other ear again, picking Chloe's plate up.

"Try the pancakes." Beca whispered, placing a different plate in front of Chloe. "They come with a cherry."

She shot a small smile at Chloe, saying, "good morning" before turning around and walking away; leaving the redhead sitting at the table, trying to stop from smiling in her chair. She hadn't even notice Beca walk in the room, which was weird, because her eyes were darting around the room the whole time she had been here. And she may or may not have been looking for her, for at least a glimpse of her, but we'll leave that part out.

She tucked a stray hair behind her ear and picked up her fork, looking over to see Beca standing in the line presumably for her own breakfast. She sent a shy smile Beca's way and picked up her knife, using the utensils to cutting into the pancakes.

She had to admit, the pancakes weren't the best she'd tasted, but they were better than the other crap they dished out in this place. She placed another small piece in her mouth, looking around the room to see if anyone was watching her eating. Thankfully, everyone were occupied, but then she met Beca's eyes from across the hall.

The brunette had been watching her with a small smile on her face, and once Chloe's eyes met hers, the brunette suddenly averted her eyes. She pretended to be looking at something on the wall, but Chloe knew for a fact that she had been previously looking at her. She couldn't stop the small, timid smile form on her face. Beca was adorable, she could give her that. And she was thankful that – even though the two of them had hardly said a word to each other – the brunette had been kind enough to notice that she wasn't particularly enjoying her breakfast.

Finishing off the last of the pancakes, leaving out the cherry, because she's never been fond of them; she scraped her chair back and stood up, picking up the plate and knife and fork. She made her way over to the counter, where she then approached the bin. Before she put the cherry in the bin though, she felt a hand on her wrist.

"Don't waste a good cherry!"

Immediately, she winced at the pressure on her bruises, and quickly retracted her arm with a sharp hiss, causing the plate to fall on the floor. And obviously, it smashed, causing everybody's heads to turn their way. She saw the worry shoot across Beca's face as the brunette quickly leaned down to pick the shattered pieces up, and she also leaned down to help.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Beca whispered, as if chastising herself for scaring Chloe like that. She was shaking her head, muttering incoherent apologies and excuses under her breath, and Chloe could see her hands were shaking as she tried to clean up all the pieces.

"Hey," Chloe said gently, putting her hand above Beca's, and immediately, the brunette snatched her hand away with wide eyes.

"It's okay." she whispered, offering Beca a soft, comforting smile. She saw the fear in the brunette's face, and truthfully, she didn't know what the hell to do. It was as if the brunette had seen a ghost. She didn't want to try and touch her, to tell her it was okay, because she was afraid that Beca might freak out. But then, what else could she do?

Her eyes darted from Beca's left eye to her right eye, back and forth a few times, searching for any indication. She slowly reached out and placed her hand on Beca's forearm.

"Really, it's okay. You didn't know." She said in a hushed whisper, smiling gently at the brunette. She watched as Beca's facial muscles relaxed, and smiled gently at her once more before letting go of her arm and picking the rest of the pieces up, putting them in the bin as she did so.

The brunette's bottom lip was trembling as she stood up, folding her arms across her chest as she looked around the room. After cleaning all the pieces up, Chloe stood up too, moving her head so she could look at Beca.

"You 'kay?"

The brunette just nodded, awkwardly smiling at the redhead before looking down at the floor. Chloe didn't notice the way the brunette was digging her nails into her arm as she squeezed her eyes shut. But Chloe was looking at her, as if interrogating her, and she felt uncomfortable.

"I have a session. I'll see you later." Beca murmured, immediately turning around and making her way out of the room before Chloe could say anything else. She just watched Beca scurry out of the dining area, wondering why she had freaked out when Chloe touched her hand.


	4. Chapter 4

Chloe kept her head down as she quickly walked down the corridor, her hands folded across her chest. After breakfast, she had gone back to her room for a nap, and she was now due for her first art therapy class. She had forgotten to set her alarm though, but if she walked fast enough, then she would make it on time.

She was walking so fast, that she didn't even notice someone also rushing through the corridor, causing them to collide, and Chloe to fall backwards. She landed on the floor, hissing as her butt came into contact with the hard ground.

"Shit, I'm so sorry!"

Chloe looked up with a scowl, her face immediately softening when she saw that it was Beca who had ran into her.

"Oh. Hi." Beca smiled as she looked down at Chloe. "I didn't see you. Here, let me help you up." The brunette held her arm out for Chloe to hold, exposing her wrist. She seemed to think nothing of it, and Chloe caught a glimpse of red on them before she swapped them quickly, holding out her left hand.

"You okay?"

The redhead nodded as she grabbed Beca's hand and let her pull her up, smiling as a thank you.

"It's Chloe. Right?"

The redhead nodded with a small smile, crossing her arms over her chest as she started to walk again towards her location.

"And you're Rebecca."

"Beca. Never call me that."

Chloe smiled, whispering a small "sorry", and Beca smirked as she put her hands in her pockets while keeping up with Chloe.

"I, uh... want to apologise for this morning. I didn't meant to freak out or anything, I just... You know how it is. I just-"

"-Beca, its fine." Chloe interrupted, looking to her side, down at the small girl who was struggling to catch up with her. "Seriously, it's forgotten."

They both carried on walking at a respectable distance beside each other down the hall. Chloe had her arms folded across her chest, her eyes occasionally looking down at Beca. And Beca was fiddling with the ends of her sweater, where the seams had frayed a little.

The redhead looked down at Beca once again, and this time Beca looked back up at her.

"I wanted to thank you for the pancakes. It was nice of you to bring me them."

"Oh, don't worry." Beca said, looking back down at the floor as they carried on walking. "You didn't look like you were enjoying the eggs so I thought I'd save you."

The redhead smiled affectionately, the act going unseen by the brunette due to her playing with the sleeves of her sweater.

"So where you heading?" Beca asked, after a beat of silence.

"Art class?"

"Oh, you signed up for the art therapy? Me too."

"Yeah, it was either that or gardening. Who even does that these days?"

Beca's face turned serious, her eyebrows forming a small frown as she slowed down.

"My grandmother was a gardener before she died."

Chloe's face paled and her eyes widened, her mouth opening to form a 'o' shape, but nothing coherent seemed to come out. "I… I'm so sorry." She stuttered. "I-I had no idea-I… Shit, I'm really sorry. God-Wait, why-why are you smiling?"

"Chloe, I'm messing with you."

"Oh my God, I hate you so much." Chloe breathed out, a soft laugh escaping her mouth when she heard Beca laugh at her.

"You should have seen your face." Beca snickered, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth.

"How was I supposed to know you were joking?! You looked so serious."

"Yeah, get used to that." Beca laughed as they approached a white door which had a piece of paper on that read **"Art Therapy Class – 9:30AM"** on it.

"After you m'lady." The brunette said as she held the door open for Chloe, and the redhead swooned internally. She had to admit, Beca was adorable. Sure, she'd only seen her around the site a few times over the past two days, but every time she has seen her, she hasn't seen her interacting with anybody else. She liked to think that Beca was now her friend, seeing as she brought her pancakes this morning, but she wouldn't push her. Instead, she just made her way to the only free table at the front of the class room, with Beca following behind her.

* * *

"What is this, kindergarten?"

Chloe let out a soft laugh at Beca's remark, answering "I honestly couldn't feel stupider."

They had been told to "draw their feelings", in which Beca had sarcastically answered, "what if we're horny?" which earned a disapproving look from the teacher (and a snort from Chloe.) So far, Chloe had drawn a swing set, a cloud, a few love hearts and a sun. And Beca had drawn a tree and a few musical notes.

Chloe looked at Beca's canvas, noticing that the brunette wasn't that bad at art. The tree she had sketched was pretty realistic, and the notes looked just right. The redhead puffed out a breath of air as she put her crayon down, leaning over to Beca's side.

"How long do we have to do this?"

"Like, an hour or something."

Her face was dangerously close to Beca's, and she could almost see the turmoil in Beca's eyes as she turned her head, not expecting Chloe to be that close to her. Their eyes locked together, and they stayed there like that for a few split seconds, breathing slowly, before the brunette withdrew herself back a little. Immediately, Chloe went back to her previous position, looking at her so-called piece of art that she was supposed to be making.

"I see you've drawn a house. Is this your childhood home?" they heard the teacher say from the back of the classroom, and they both rolled their eyes as they looked at each other.

"Miss Mitchell." Chloe said, looking at Beca's piece of paper. "I see you've drawn a tree. Do you think you're a tree?"

The brunette snorted a laugh, pushing Chloe's shoulder. "At least I didn't draw a knife."

"What knife?" Chloe immediately frowned, looking at her page, seeing no knife there. The brunette bit her bottom lip as she leaned over and started to draw on Chloe's page.

"That knife." She resorted, laughing at her attempt to draw a knife. Chloe tried pushing her hand away as she laughed, but it just made Beca scribble on her work even more. "You're gonna get your meds up for that. You really shouldn't be drawing knives in art therapy."

Chloe smirked as she leaned over and put her purple crayon on Beca's piece of paper. She held onto Beca's arm as she wrote "I am a bird" across the page, laughing as Beca burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Oh my God."

Beca leaned over again, using her black crayon to write "I like fire." Over Chloe's cloud that she had drawn. And just as Chloe was going to draw something else on Beca's, the brunette grabbed her wrist and put it to her own piece of paper. She started using Chloe's hand to scribble on the redhead's piece of paper, and they both laughed together as Chloe looked behind her to see that the teacher was walking towards the front of the room.

"It's almost like an outside force is guiding me." Chloe whispered, and Beca chuckled, still using Chloe's hand to basically ruin her work. She suddenly let go though, going back to her own piece of work just as the teacher looked their way.

He approached them, with his hands behind his back, and looked at both of their pieces of art. Chloe's had mostly black scribbles on it, along with some stars and clouds that she had drawn before Beca had ruined it. Oh and of course, the knife that Beca had drawn, along with the writing. And Beca's was mostly just a mix of purple and green scribbles, which had mixed together to form a dark, murky colour.

The teacher nodded at them, saying "nice work" with nothing but confusion in his tone. And Beca smiled proudly at him, before he nodded and walked away, leaving them both snickering behind him.

"You ruined mine." The brunette said as she turned her page, banging her hand loudly on the table. The redhead grabbed onto Beca's hand to stop her, and they both burst out laughing again, unaware of Janet watching them through the window with a proud smile on her face.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I just want to say thank you for the wonderful responses. I didn't think the feedback on this would be that good, but over 100 people are already following, and all the reviews are great! So thank you all so much.**

**And just a little warning, the flashback in this chapter could be quite triggering, so I suggest that you don't read that part if reading about suicide affects you in any way. It will be in bold italic so you'll know when to skip it if you need to.**

* * *

The rest of art therapy went by quickly for both Beca and Chloe. And soon enough, it was over, and they were heading out of the classroom. They had walked around aimlessly for about an hour – only occasionally saying something, but not wanting to part yet – when they realised that they should head to the support group with Janet that was starting in fifteen minutes.

After everyone arrived, they all sat in their allocated seats as usual, until Janet walked in with a smile on her face and her usual glasses perched on her nose, and her clipboard in her hand.

"Hello, everyone. How are you all doing today?"

She looked around the group, her smile weakening slightly when nobody answered. Once again though, she kept positive, and sat down with her clipboard in her lap and her hands clasped on top of it. When she looked around, she couldn't help but notice how Beca and Chloe's chairs were closer to each other than the yesterday, and they were both trying not to laugh at something.

"Beca." Janet said, which caught both Chloe and Beca's attention. Chloe let out another soft giggle, which caused Beca to smirk, before her face turned straightened.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have anything to share with the group today?"

The brunette shrugged as her eyes darted to Chloe for a split second, before looking back at Janet. "Nope, I don't think so."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

The woman just nodded, before looking over at Aubrey. Then looking at Stacie, who was tapping her hand on her bare knee. She looked at everybody in the group to see that they all looked to be in the same mood as last time, apart from Beca and Chloe. The two of them looked genuinely happy today. Not particularly happy to be here, but they both seemed to have a glow on their faces. Just like when she saw them in art therapy this morning, joking and laughing together.

The woman huffed, looking around the group. "Is nobody gonna share anything today?"

"What do you expect?" Aubrey asked, knitting her eyebrows together. "This place is hell. Why would we talk about it?"

"It's part of the program, Aubrey. You signed up for group therapy, and it is the responsibility of each person here to talk about his or her reasons for being in the group."

"I have something to say."

All eyes turned to face Chloe, who sat shyly with one leg crossed over the other, and her hands rested in her lap. Janet smiled at her, and her eyes cautiously looked around the group at everyone who was looking at her. She took a deep breath, and looked at the floor as she started talking.

"When my little sister was eight, her appendix burst. And, uh..." she paused, looking to her left to see Beca sat smiling at her. "She was in the hospital for like, a week. And she was scared of everything. The doctors, the needles, the... weird plastic kidney shaped thing that she had to pee in."

The group all snorted, and Chloe let out a breathy laugh as she looked around them. She shifted in her seat as she bit her lip, bringing her hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Um, so… I made my mom and dad take me to the hospital every day. And I sat by her bed, and I painted her nails, and we made fun of the nurses together. And I didn't really think I was doing anything spectacular, you know. I mean, _of course_ I would do that. She would do the same thing for me. But…" she paused, sighing as she looked at the floor. "She… she hasn't come here to visit me. Not even once."

The group was quiet when Chloe finished, and she let out another soft breath of air as she looked down at her hands and started to fiddle with the ends of her jumper. She could feel Beca's eyes on her, but she didn't dare to look, in case she would start crying. It was a sore subject for her to talk about her little sister, especially in front of a group of strangers. She thought it would make her feel better if she talked about her, but now? She felt worse. She felt as if she had shared too much, and she just couldn't wait for the session to be over so she could be alone.

"I'm glad they don't come." Cynthia Rose said, causing everyone to look at her instead of Chloe. "I don't want them to see me in here."

Chloe nodded towards the woman, blinking a few times. "It just makes me sad. That's all."

"That's understandable."

Chloe turned to look at Beca when she spoke up quietly, giving her a small smile.

"I mean, I don't have any brothers or sisters, but… I know how you feel. My best friend, Luke, he's like a brother to me. But… I've been in here for almost three weeks now and he hasn't been to visit."

The small girl looked so vulnerable, sat cross-legged on the seat as she kept her eyes on Chloe the whole time she was speaking.

"I told him not to visit me."

Chloe nodded at Beca, noticing how the brunette didn't look at anybody except her while she was speaking.

"How long have you known Luke?" Janet asked, and Chloe thought that the brunette would eventually notice how she hadn't broke eye contact, but she didn't. They kept eye contact, and as much as Chloe wanted to look away; she couldn't.

"I've known him since kindergarten. We grew up living next door to each other, and now we live in the same building."

"And Luke is very important to you, correct?"

The brunette nodded, her eyes flickering from Chloe's left eye to her right eye, then back to her left.

"He saved my life."

* * *

**_Luke looked down at the DVD he had just bought, reading the blurb on the back of it as he approached Beca's apartment with a plastic bag in his hand. He stopped in front of it, not even bothering to knock before he opened the door. _**

**_"_****_Hey Bec, have you seen Bad Teacher? I just picked it up from the video store. It has Cameron Diaz in it, so I think you'll like it. Beca?"_**

**_The blonde man frowned, making his way to the kitchen of the small apartment to put his beers in the fridge. It was like second nature to him to make himself at home at Beca's. It was like a routine, and Beca didn't seem to mind. She did the same whenever she went to his apartment anyway._**

**_He shouted Beca's name again, walking over to the door that lead to her bedroom. "Bec, are you still asleep? It's 6pm, man."_**

**_He opened the door, smirking when he saw that the brunette was still in fact in bed, if the lump in the middle of the sheets was anything to go by. He walked over to the bed and frowned, seeing no movement from under the covers. _**

**_"_****_Becky." he said as he lifted the sheets up, rolling his eyes and huffing out a breath when he saw that the brunette wasn't there, and it was in fact just her pillows that was causing the lump in the bed._**

**_ "_****_Becky?! I'm not playing hide and seek with you, you little shit. Where are you?"_**

**_He approached her closet, pulling the doors open, readying himself for Beca to jump out at him. She didn't though, and he sighed as he once again heard a groan. He walked out of her bedroom, back through the apartment, until he stood outside of the bathroom door._**

**_"_****_Becky." He said, as he knocked on the door three times. The door was ajar, but he didn't want to open it in case the brunette was naked or something. And after walking in on her in the shower a few weeks ago, he didn't really want a repeat of that. Something didn't feel right though, because Beca wasn't answering him. He was about to turn around and head back to the kitchen to leave Beca, but he heard another groan coming from inside the bathroom. _**

**_"_****_Becky?" He asked, pushing the door open, only for it to be blocked by something. He pushed harder, until he could fit his head through the gap._**

**_Immediately, his eyes widened when he saw Beca laid in front of the door, her wrist covered in blood and her mouth covered in a pinky-white colored froth._**

**_"_****_Shit, Beca!" he yelled, pushing the door open enough so he could fit through it, dropping to his knees to check her pulse. It was faint, and the brunette was groaning quietly to herself, her head lolling from side to side._**

**_"_****_Beca, wake up! God damn it woman, wake up!" he could already sense that he was going to cry as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket, dialling 911 straight away with shaky hands and a trembling lip._**

**_"_****_991 what's your emerg-"_**

**_"_****_I need an ambulance! My friend! She's-" he suddenly stopped when he saw that there were some pills on the floor, and a razor blade covered in blood just by her feet._**

**_"_****_Fuck, she's tried to kill herself. Please, help!"_**

**_"_****_Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down, or it will make this worse. Where are you?"_**

**_He breathed in and out through his nose as he rubbed his hand up Beca's arm, tears streaming down his face. Shakily, he told them the brunette's apartment block and number, mentioning that it was on the fifth floor._**

**_"_****_An ambulance is on its way, okay? Now tell me what exactly is happening."_**

**_"_****_She-she… I don't know. I think she's tried to overdose, and-and oh fuck me-there's so much blood. God, what do I do?!"_**

**_His breathing was heavy and laboured as he spoke, or more like yelled, down the phone. And his eyes widened when he heard Beca mumble something._**

**_"_****_Beca? Beca, talk to me. What did you do?"_**

**_"_****_Luke." She whispered, and Luke let out a strangled sob as he grabbed onto her hand that didn't look injured._**

**_"_****_Sir, is she okay?"_**

**_"_****_No! No, how long will the ambulance be? Please, hurry up!"_**

**_He brought his hand up to gently caress her face, letting out a breath of air when her eyes flickered open._**

**_"_****_Am I dead?" she asked quietly, and Luke let out a soft, choked laugh as he shook his head._**

**_"_****_You're not dead. You're gonna be okay. Just stay with me."_**

**_He hadn't even realised that the medics had arrived, until they knocked on the door._**

**_"_****_In the bathroom!" he yelled as loud as he could, noticing the brunette wince. _**

**_"_****_I'm sorry." He whispered, hanging up the phone and putting it back in his pocket._**

**_The rest of it was a blur as he kept his eyes on his best friend, watching her slip in and out on consciousness as the medics treated her. All he could think about was how thankful he was that he decided to come over, and not stay at home with his girlfriend._**


	6. Chapter 6

"He saved my life."

Chloe nodded, wanting to reach out and take Beca's hand in hers. She didn't know why, but she felt the need to let Beca know that she was here for her. That she understands, and that she is safe. She does understand after all.

"How?" Janet asked, causing Beca to finally break eye contact with Chloe, and the redhead let out a soft breath when Beca looked away.

"I was ready to just give up. To put an end to everything." Beca said with a shaky voice, shifting in her chair and looking down. A few others in the group nodded, signalling that they understood. "He was there for me at my weakest. He's always been there for me. I guess, I… I don't know, I feel selfish for taking advantage of that."

"You're not selfish." Chloe whispered as she closed her eyes, more to herself than to Beca. The brunette turned to look at her though, and shook her head.

"I thought that committing would be the best thing to do because… well, it's not suicide if you're already dead inside, right?" she smiled sardonically when Chloe opened her eyes and looked at her.

The whole room was silent as Beca and Chloe both looked at each other again. This time though, Beca looked away after only a few seconds of keeping eye contact with Chloe. She let out another shuddering breath, suddenly standing up with shaky legs.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to the group as she scuttled out of the room, not looking back to see if anyone was following her. The door slammed shut, and Chloe stood up abruptly, ready to go after her.

"Chloe, I think you should leave her be." Janet said as she too stood up and look towards the redhead, who was staring at the door. Chloe shook her head though, looking over at Janet.

"I can't." she said, before quickly making her way out of the session room. The door slammed behind her and she looked to her left, then to her right. There was no sign of the brunette anywhere though. She wracked her brain for any idea of where Beca could be, but she couldn't think.

She made her way down the corridor and stopped in front of the rest rooms.

"Beca?" she asked as she opened the door and peaked her head around the corner. She walked in to see that all the cubicles were open, and there was no sign of the brunette. Quickly making her way out, and back down the corridor, she saw a set of doors leading outside. She burst through them, panting, when she saw Beca sat a few feet away in front of the small lake on the hospital grounds. The brunette's back was facing her, but she could tell that she was crying. Her body was shaking and her head was in her hands. The sight almost broke her heart.

She made her way over, with her arms crossed over her chest, feeling a cool, afternoon breeze flow over her.

"Leave me alone." Beca murmured when she heard some footsteps behind her, and if it was anybody else, Chloe would have left her. But she wanted to help Beca.

"Am I really that bad company?" Chloe asked as she sat down beside Beca, crossing her legs and looking out onto the glistening water. The sun was set low in the sky, and if Chloe was to guess, she'd say that dinner should be in about an hour, seeing as it was always a half hour after group therapy.

Chloe looked beside her to see the brunette wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve, hiding her face away from the redhead.

"I've seen people cry before you know, you don't have to be embarrassed."

"I'm sorry. I'm not good at this stuff."

"Me neither."

The brunette sniffed up, letting out a trembling breath as she hugged her knees up close to her and rested her chin on top of them.

"You wanna talk about it?" Chloe asked quietly, pulling a few blades of grass from the ground and fiddling with them. The brunette shook her head, but spoke up in a hushed whisper anyway.

"I've tried everything to recover. From harming myself to loving myself. I've tried it all. Nothing works. No matter how many times people tell me that… that everything will be okay, and that I can get better, and that things will heal over time- I just know they won't. But in here, even though it's probably the most depressing place in the world, I actually feel okay. I feel good because… because at least I'm trying to get help, right?"

The redhead nodded, moving her head to the side so she could look at Beca.

"I know how you feel. And I know I keep saying that, but I do. I know."

The brunette let out a soft sigh, picking up a small pebble that sat beside her and throwing it into the water. The two sat there in silence for a while, before Beca spoke up.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I can't promise I'll answer it but go ahead."

"How come you want to be a lawyer?"

The redhead raised her eyebrows. She didn't expect that question. She didn't know exactly what she expected, but it wasn't that. Maybe for the brunette to ask her about her schizophrenia, or her past, or something about that. But not her career choice.

"I, uh… I wanted to help people. Give people a second chance in life… If they deserve it."

The brunette was silent for a few moments, before she turned her head to look at Chloe. She sucked in a breath, holding it for a second before letting it out, and speaking up quietly.

"Do you think I deserved a second chance in life?"

"You can't ask me that question if I don't know anything about your past."

"What if I ask you the same question when you finish law school?"

Chloe's eyebrows knitted together and her heart sped up.

"You think I'll finish law school?"

"I think you can do anything." Beca responded quietly, reaching a hand out to cover Chloe's that was resting on the grass. She smiled gently at her, a small, toothless smile, which Chloe reciprocated. The brunette could see the tears forming in Chloe's eyes, and her eyes widened.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to make you cry-I'm sorry."

"No." she shook her head, turning her hand over and entwining it with the brunette's. She used her unoccupied hand to wipe her tears with her jumper, sniffing up a few times before looking down at their hands.

"It means a lot to me that you think I can do it."

She could see the cuts on Beca's wrists, and she looked up at the brunette with teary eyes. The brunette watched as Chloe lifted her hand up, and used her other hand to stroke over the scars there. Neither of them said anything as Chloe counted each of the brunette's cuts. Some new, and some old. She slowly brought her wrist up to her face, and leaned down to press a gentle, tender kiss on it. The brunette's breath caught in her throat at the sight, and she bit her lip to stop herself from crying. Nobody had ever done that before.

Wordlessly, the brunette lowered their hands and scooted closer to the redhead, hesitating before lowering her head to rest on her shoulder. And Chloe moved her head to rest on top of the brunette's head, smiling at the sound of Beca's soft breathing beside her. They sat there silently, close to each other and holding hands, as they both looked out onto the water.

And Chloe had no idea what this meant, or whether Beca knew how much this meant to her, but she didn't dwell on any of it. She just relished in the feeling of having a friend next to her, and she didn't need the voices to tell her that this was a huge deal for her. That she had let Beca in, without even having to tell her anything.

Again, they were unaware of curious eyes watching them from inside, only this time it wasn't just Janet. It was the whole group, all amazed at how this was the only person Beca had interacted with outside of therapy since she got here three weeks ago.


	7. Chapter 7

After sitting outside for a while, Beca and Chloe both decided it was time to head back inside for lunch if they wanted to make it before all the food went. It was Saturday and Saturday was pizza day. They wouldn't want to miss that, seeing as Beca had mentioned the pizza was one of the rare great things about this place. As they made their way to the cafeteria, they saw a small group huddled near the exit.

"What's going on?" Beca asked, eyeing the scene curiously. People were hugging, and one girl was crying. She noticed Aubrey and Stacie from hers and Chloe's therapy session, and before she knew it, she was making her way over; not noticing how she was still holding Chloe's hand and pulling her along.

"What's happening?" Beca asked when Aubrey turned around, and the blonde just smiled.

"Benji's leaving. It's his last day. Janet told us when you left the session."

"Oh." The brunette nodded, looking back at Chloe to see that she was smiling. She followed the redhead's line of sight to see that she was looking at Benji. The boy looked the happiest he's ever been, and immediately, her bad mood from earlier deteriorated just from seeing how happy Ben was.

"He's made a lot of progress."

Beca and Chloe turned around to see Janet stood with a proud smile on her face. The brunette's eyes locked with one of the tech's standing to her left, and she watched as the man's eyes drifted down to where Beca and Chloe's hands were clasped together. He gave the brunette a disapproving look, and Beca just frowned, turning back to look at Janet.

"I didn't know Ben was so popular." Beca said, wondering why she had never seen Benji with his friends over the time she had been here. But she couldn't blame anybody but herself. It was her choice to block everyone out and refuse to make friends.

"People with Asperger's Disorder often isolate themselves, but they're still aware of the presence of others. Benji is a great kid. He's… unique. He was a talker. He was good at making friends."

"Are his parents here to pick him up?"

"His brother."

Beca nodded, turning back around to see Benji smiling shyly at Jesse. She could see from where she was standing that Jesse had tears in his eyes, and she smiled sympathetically at the two of them. They were almost inseparable since they met here, and she can't imagine what it was like for the two of them to say goodbye to each other after being friends in here for so long.

Soon enough, Benji was on his way home, and everyone went back to eating their lunch. Beca and Chloe both sat beside each other in a comfortable silence, them being the only ones on that lunch table.

"Why aren't you eating?" Beca asked when she noticed that Chloe had only taken one bite of her slice of pizza. She looked up at Chloe, to see her eyes glossed over, and it looked like she was thinking about something. She could almost hear the cogs turning in her head.

"Chloe?"

The redhead jumped, looking at Beca with wide eyes. "Yeah?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Um… why aren't you eating?"

"Oh." Chloe shook her head, brushing it off with a small smile. "I'm not hungry."

"Did you eat yesterday?"

The redhead nodded her head, staring down at her plate with a tight-lipped smile.

"That's a lie."

"I wasn't hungry."

"Chloe, I don't… I don't mean to be pushy or anything but… if you don't eat, they'll put it on your personal record."

"What?" Chloe frowned, finally turning to look at Beca, who picked her cup of water up and took a sip, before putting it back down next to her plate.

"People are watching you all the time, Chloe, and… if you refuse to eat, you-"

"-I'm not refusing to eat, Beca. I said I'm not hungry."

"Okay, I just… If they notice you're not eating, they'll eventually put you under supervision, and you'll _have_ to eat."

"They can't _make_ me eat."

"But they can restrain you and force feed you through an IV."

Chloe's eyes searched Beca's for any lies, but she knew for a fact that the brunette was telling the truth. She was looking out for Chloe, and the redhead appreciated that. But she honestly wasn't hungry. She ignored that feeling though, and picked her slice of pizza up, taking a small bite of it.

The brunette smiled at her before going back to eating her own slice, occasionally turning to watch the redhead.

She could admit that Chloe was beautiful. Sure, she wasn't perfect. She didn't have flawless hair, or radiant skin, or perfect teeth; but she was pretty damn close. She was the type of beautiful that you could see from up close as well as far away.

From far away, you could see that she had these gorgeous, light blue eyes, which seemed to twinkle in the sun. But from up close, you could see that she had little freckles covering her nose and her cheeks, making her eyes look even more blue, if that was possible. From afar, you could see that she had this bright, stunning red hair, but from up close, you could see that her hair framed her face perfectly, and that she had these cute little ears hiding beneath it. And from far away, you could see that she had a nice tan colour to her skin, especially on her face. But from up close, you could see the scar on her forehead, which Beca still doesn't know what happened to make it stay there, and other small spots and scars that were barely noticeable.

Sure, she was beautiful from far away, but Beca found herself thinking that she'd rather witness Chloe's beauty from up close. Like, all the time. Because Chloe was truly beautiful, and Beca had never laid eyes on anybody as beautiful as Chloe Beale.

"What?"

"What?" Beca asked, shaking her head as she kept her eyes locked with Chloe's.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You just… I like looking at you." Beca smiled shyly. "You have a nice face to look at."

"I do not." Chloe answered back, despite the fact that she was trying her hardest not to grin at the brunette's compliment. She put her head down to look at her lap, fiddling with her finger nails as her leg tapped on the floor.

The brunette, noticing Chloe's actions, placed one hand above Chloe's, in which the redhead's leg stopped shaking, and placed another at the side of her head. She tucked the bit of hair that fell in front of her face, behind her ear, and smiled at the redhead when she turned to look at her.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Chloe asked in a hushed whisper, trying to ignore how good it felt to have Beca's hand holding hers, as well as Beca's small fingers stroking her cheek.

"Because you're the first person I've met who hasn't pushed for me to open up to them. And I know we've only known each other a couple of days, but… I don't know. You get me."

Chloe nodded, her eyes flicking down to gaze at Beca's lips for a few seconds before looking back up into her eyes. The two of them sat there, smiling at each other, and it took Chloe a few seconds to notice that Beca was leaning in.

**_"Don't do it."_**

**_"She's using you!"_**

**_"She's lying!"_**

She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled back with a small gasp, just in time to hear the bell ringing from the other side of the room, signalling that it was the end of lunch.

"All those scheduled for recreational therapy, make your way to room 12A!"

She wracked her brain for any indication of being in recreational therapy, but then she felt a small, warm hand on the dip of her back. She looked down to see Beca stood with a concerned look on her face.

"That's our group. You okay?"

"Yeah, I-uh… Yeah. I'm fine."

The brunette nodded, looking down at Chloe's hand before linking their fingers together. She could feel Chloe's hands shaking, and she looked up at the redhead with apprehensive eyes.

"Is this okay?"

Chloe looked down at their joined hands, catching a glance at the bruises on her wrists. She immediately pulled her hand away and crossed them over her chest, sucking in a breath before looking towards the exit.

"What room do we go to?"

"12A. Come on." Beca said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice as she led them both out of the cafeteria, ready for therapy. The two walked in silence towards the room, Beca wondering why Chloe wouldn't hold her hand. She didn't think about it much though. But she couldn't for the life of her, stop thinking about the fact that she was pretty sure Chloe was leaning in to kiss her a minute ago.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Once again, I wanna thank everyone for the feedback. I'm really looking forward to the rest of this story, and I hope you're all enjoying it.**

* * *

Chloe smiled a small, gracious smile as Beca opened the door to room 12A for her, the brunette following behind her. With inquisitive eyes, the redhead stepped further inside the room to see that the whole group were there already, and they were just waiting for Janet. She wondered why the senior was late, seeing as she had just seen her in the cafeteria, but she didn't think about it much.

The redhead looked towards the front of the room. There was a white screen hanging from the ceiling, and there were chairs set in 2 rows of five in front of the screen, and a projector sat on a table behind the seats. It looked to be like a little cinema. (Except with less popcorn and slushies, and more uncomfortable, plastic chairs.)

"What's with the huge white screen?" Chloe asked.

"We must be watching something. A movie? I don't know."

The redhead nodded. "What do you normally do in recreational therapy?"

"It depends what Janet has on her schedule. Sometimes its sports and games; sometimes its drama or music. She likes to surprise us."

"Ah." The redhead nodded. "Um, I never… I never asked you this, but how long have you been here?"

"Three weeks." Beca said nonchalantly, and Chloe figured that it was the only answer she would be getting as she watched Beca make her way up to the front of the room. She looked around with crossed arms, moving around the room as if looking for something. Chloe just stood where she was, watching Beca, until the brunette turned to look at her. She smiled a friendly, hesitant smile at Beca, letting out a small laugh and shaking her head when the brunette winked at her from where she was standing at the other side of the room.

A minute later, Janet walked in with her usual clipboard hugged to her body, her eyes peeping over her glasses as she greeted the group. And as usual, everybody just mumbled their hellos as they all sat down in the row of chairs. Beca walked over to sit on the end one, and pointed to the seat next to her for Chloe to sit in. So with a small, tight-lipped smile; Chloe perched down next to Beca and looked towards the front where Janet was now standing.

The brunette could tell something was wrong with Chloe, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Instead of thinking about it though, she just gave the redhead a reassuring smile. However, the redhead just looked at her and looked back towards the front, unaware of the frown forming on Beca's face.

"Okay, everybody. Welcome to recreational therapy. Now, last week we did something different. We played football. But this week, I thought it'd be nice to watch a movie. I have two movies here, so we'll take a vote." Janet picked up the two movies that were in the bag she brought in with her, and showed them to the group. "We have The Breakfast Club and The Notebook."

"The Breakfast Club!" Jesse yelled as he cupped his hands over his mouth, then started to clap as he looked around the group. But soon frowned when nobody said or did anything.

"Who wants to watch The Breakfast Club?" Janet asked, smiling nicely when Jesse put his hand up. Cynthia also put her hand up halfway, but then put it down when she realised that nobody else was going to vote for it.

"The Notebook it is then. Sorry Jesse."

The brunette boy groaned and slouched in his seat, sporting his typical pouty face and knitting his eyebrows together. The brunette, seeing this, smirked at him, causing him to turn around and frown at her. She just held both her hands up mockingly though, shaking her head and mouthing "sorry."

The group waited as Janet put the DVD in her laptop and hooked it up to the projector, which surprisingly took about 5 minutes. Beca was pretty impressed with the senior's abilities to work a laptop, never mind put the DVD on so quickly. She turned her head to look at Chloe, smiling at her when the redhead caught her looking at her.

"What?" the redhead mouthed, but Beca just smiled with a small shake of her head. They kept eye contact for only a moment, before the beginning of the film started, and Janet turned the lights off before sitting down at the front.

40 minutes later, Beca was almost falling asleep due to watching the film. It was boring as hell, and the brightness of the screen was stinging her eyes from watching it for too long, and she couldn't for the life of her, get comfortable in her seat. Everybody else was completely invested in the film though, even Chloe. The brunette looked over at Janet, who was sat at the front with one leg crossed over the other, her hand in front of her mouth as tears formed in her eyes. She sighed as she leaned over and tapped Chloe on the shoulder. And Chloe turned to look at Beca, giving her a questioning look.

"Wanna get out of here?" the brunette asked, and Chloe shook her head as she looked over at Janet. She turned back around to see Beca looking at her intently.

"How? She'll catch us."

The brunette thought for a second, looking around the room once more, before her eyes lit up.

"Watch this." She whispered, before standing up and pulling Chloe up with her.

"Oh God!" she said, causing everyone to look at her. She held both her hands over her nose and tipped her head back, sending a sly wink to Chloe, signalling for her to go along with it. "Janet, I have a nosebleed. Can I go to the bathroom?"

The older woman stood up and squinted due to the darkness of the room. "Oh, Beca, are you okay? Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, it's okay." The brunette said, widening her eyes at Chloe, and the redhead caught on.

"I'll go with her." The redhead said to Janet, before turning around to move closer to Beca. "Keep your head back." She said as she held onto her, leading them both out of the room with no more questions asked.

They both scurried out of the room, shutting the door gently behind them, before looking at each other and laughing. In fact, just the sound of Beca's laugh, caused Chloe to laugh even more, and soon enough they were both giggling as they made their way up the corridor.

"Shh." Beca shushed Chloe, her eyes widening when she saw a door open a few yards in front of them. She quickly grabbed Chloe's arm and pulled her to the side, so they were both hiding behind the wall, to stop whoever it was from seeing them. However, the space behind the wall was only tiny, causing them to be pressed up against each other.

The redhead tried not to think about how close they were, instead just focusing on being quiet in case they got caught. She tried not to make eye contact with the brunette, despite the fact that she could feel Beca's eyes on her. She was starting to feel a little claustrophobic as the brunette held her close, biting her lip to stop from laughing or breathing too loudly. After a minute, the brunette popped her head around the corner to see that whoever it was had now left. Quickly, Chloe pulled back, and Beca tried not to feel hurt at how eager the redhead was to pull away from her.

"Chloe."

"Yeah?"

The brunette studied her for a minute, but she couldn't read the redhead's facial expression. Granted, she had never been well at reading people, but she honestly couldn't tell what Chloe was thinking. Like, at all. So she just motioned down the hallway and gave the redhead a small smile.

"I wanna show you something."

The redhead gave the brunette a questioning look as the brunette led them up to a door that read "music room 3" on it in thick, black letters.

"Here." Beca said as she opened the door and peaked around the corner, looking back at Chloe to signal that the coast was clear. She pushed the door open for Chloe to enter, and followed behind the redhead with a small smile on her face.

"Why are we in here?" Chloe asked, but Beca just ignored her as she shut the door and locked it behind her, before walking to the other side of the room.

Beca ran her fingers across the wood of the large piano as she walked past it. It felt smooth, and she walked around it until she sat down on the stool. She watched as Chloe busied herself with something at the other side of the room, looking at all of the different instruments with a small smile on her face. She looked down at the keys, and then her eyes flickered back up to look at Chloe.

She didn't even realise she'd started playing until Chloe looked up at her with wide eyes, a grin forming on her face.


	9. Chapter 9

"What's this song?" Chloe asked as she walked towards where Beca was sat playing a quiet, pleasant tune on the piano. She approached the instrument, resting her elbows on it as she leaned on the smooth, mahogany wood.

The brunette just shrugged, closing her eyes lightly as her fingers danced across the keys. A smile formed on her face as she concentrated on exactly which keys she was pressing, taking her time with the sweet melody coming from the grand piano. And Chloe watched her as she rested her chin in her hands, watching every little thing about the brunette while she was playing.

She watched her every move. From the flicker of her eyelashes as she opened her eyes, only to close them straight afterwards. She watched the twitch of her lip, forming an almost-smile when she created a particularly good tune; the knit in her eyebrows and the small shake of her head when she got something wrong. The way her foot tapped on the floor, and the way her fingers moved effortlessly over the plastic black and white keys. And also the way she let out a small sigh every now and again, and for the first time since they met the day before yesterday; Chloe could see that Beca was completely relaxed.

The brunette started to play an actual tune, instead of just pressing any keys, and Chloe smiled at the familiar sound. She started off slowly and quietly, in case anybody from outside heard the piano and decided to come inside to see who was playing. But then she actually got into the song, and found herself putting more effort into it.

The redhead sighed contently, keeping her eyes on Beca's face as the brunette slowly blinked her eyes open. Immediately, Beca smiled, a shy, timid grin, and she put her head down and tried to hide her face. But Chloe laughed, and the brunette messed up on the song she was playing at the sound of Chloe's small, nervous giggle. She removed her hands from the keys, shaking her head at Chloe.

"You made me mess up, woman."

"Oh, I do apologise." Chloe smirked, swiftly moving around to sit next to Beca on the stool. It was big enough for the both of them, but Beca couldn't help but notice how close Chloe was to her. Their thighs were touching, and the brunette's heart almost stopped when she felt Chloe's hand on her thigh.

"Sing for me."

"What?"

Chloe laughed, nudging Beca's shoulder with her own.

"Sing for me."

"What makes you think I can sing?"

"Nobody can play Just The Way You Are on a piano and not be able to sing."

The brunette shook her head at the redhead, keeping her eyes on Chloe's for a moment before she caved. She sighed, thinking about what song she could sing for Chloe. There was a range of songs running through her mind, and they all reminded her of Chloe. She ignored the fact that most of them were love songs, and huffed out a breath of air when she heard Chloe say "come on."

"Okay, okay." Beca smiled, placing her hand on the keys to ready herself. "This is a song I wrote. Well, I started writing it yesterday. It's nowhere near finished but... you know. I actually-I've only written a few lines. I j-"

"Just play it, you goofball."

Beca let out a soft laugh, biting her lip nervously as she started to play. She could feel Chloe's arm press against hers each time she moved her right hand to the keys further up on the piano, and she tried her hardest to ignore how warm she felt with Chloe sat so close to her.

She'd never felt comfortable close to people, never mind someone she'd just met. But something about Chloe was different. Beca hadn't exactly pinpointed what was different about her yet, but there was something. The redhead gave off a comforting vibe, and for a moment, everything seemed okay.

Chloe held her breath as she heard Beca start to sing, her eye suddenly widening when she heard just how soft and beautiful Beca's voice actually was.

**_I know, the scariest part is letting go,_**

**_'Cause love is a ghost you can't control,_**

**_I promise you the truth can't hurt us now,_**

**_So let the words slip out of your mouth._**

She stopped singing for a moment, pressing the keys effortlessly for a moment before singing again, unaware of Chloe's breath catching in her throat, and the affectionate look on her face as she watched the brunette's every move.

**_And all of the steps that led me to you,_**

**_And all of the hell I had you walk through-_**

She stopped playing abruptly, resting her hands on her thighs as she looked down, mumbling, "That's all I got."

Chloe breathed out a sigh, looking down at the small brunette.

"See, you can sing." She said quietly, and Beca looked up at her with a small, vulnerable smile.

"It's the first time I've sung to anybody in years."

* * *

**_4 years ago…_**

**_Ever since I could remember,_**

**_Everything inside of me,_**

**_Just wanted to fit in,_**

**_I was never one for pretenders,_**

**_Everything I tried to be,_**

**_Just wouldn't settle in,_**

**_If I told you what I was,_**

**_Would you turn your back on me?_**

**_And if I seem dangerous,_**

**_Would you be scared?_**

**_I get the feeling just because-_**

**_"Will you shut the FUCK up!"_**

**_The brunette stopped playing the guitar at the same time as she stopped singing, quick and sudden, and with pure fear etched across her face at the sound of the deep voice outside of her bedroom door. She stood up and quickly walked over to her closet, putting her guitar inside it carefully. And just as she turned around, a loud bang sounded on her door._**

**_"Open the door, Beca!"_**

**_She looked around the room, checking to see if there was anything out or misplaced, before she slowly made her way over to the door. _**

**_"Open the fucking door!"_**

**_She quickly scurried up to it, unlocking the two locks on it, and she didn't even have chance to open the door before her father pushed it open and barged through it. He was drunk, as usual, if the horrible stench of whiskey and cigarettes was anything to go by. His clothes were ragged and dirty, and he was stumbling around the small room._**

**_"Where is it?" he asked as he turned around, staring daggers at the small brunette._**

**_"Where's what-?"_**

**_"-That stupid fucking guitar. Where is it?!"_**

**_Her eyes widened as she watched her dad open her closet, and she stepped forward quickly._**

**_"Dad, no!"_**

**_"Don't you fucking call me that! This..." he spat out, holding the guitar up, "is a piece of shit. You don't need this."_**

**_"Please don't-what are you doing?!" she yelled as he held the guitar up and slammed it onto the floor, causing the neck to snap completely in half. He lifted it up again, grunting incoherent swearwords, and Beca, without even thinking of the consequences, ran towards him and went to grab the guitar out of his hands._**

**_However, he was too fast, and just as she reached him, he slammed it down again, hitting her across the face with it and sending her flying to the ground. She cried out, clutching her hand to her eye brow where she could already feel the throbbing after effects of the guitar hitting her there. She kept her head down, her forehead resting against the ground as she tried to remain as small as she could, all the while listening to her dad smashing up her only guitar. She tried to bite back the tears, but it wouldn't work. Before she knew it, she was being dragged up off of the floor by her arm, and pushed against the wall._**

**_"If I hear you sing again, you're out of here!" he spat at her while simultaneously prodding his finger into her chest, and she could feel the venom in his tone. She wanted to argue with him, to fight back, but she knew that it wouldn't get her anywhere. So she just nodded, and tried not to make eye contact with him._**

**_It wasn't until he stormed out of the room when Beca fell to her knees, clutching her face as tears streamed down her cheeks._**

* * *

"Hey, are you okay?"

The brunette blinked, jumping a little at the sound of Chloe's comforting voice beside her. She looked at the redhead, seeing a caring, reassuring look in her eyes as they roamed across Beca's face. She had no idea how they got this close to each other, but she wasn't about to question it. Chloe's hand was still on her thigh, and she looked down at it, suddenly frowning when Chloe moved it away.

"Sorry, I kinda zoned out for a second." Beca murmured, looking back up at the redhead. Chloe just nodded with a shy smile as she stood up, causing the brunette to let out a heavy sigh.

"I think we better get back before Janet gets suspicious." The redhead said, already making her way over to the door. And Beca just nodded hesitantly before standing up and following Chloe out of the room.

* * *

**A/N: If you wanna hear what songs Beca was playing: the first one was a piano cover of Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are. (If you wanna look up David Sides on YouTube to get an idea of what it sounds like, then that's how I imagined it.) The second song was Christina Perri's 'Words'. And the last one was Imagine Dragons' 'Monster'.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Writer's block struck yet again, and I also have a literature exam on Friday so I've been studying for that. I will start updating more frequently though. And once again, thank you for all the wonderful reviews.**

* * *

Chloe lay wide awake in her bed, the sound of her room-mates incoherent mumbling keeping her awake as she tried her hardest to get to sleep, but it was no use. She hadn't slept a wink all night. Her eyes were drooping, and every so often, they would flutter shut, and she could feel herself falling asleep. But then someone's - either her roommate's, or her head's - voice would wake her up, and it would be like a vicious cycle; back to square one all over again.

It was around 5AM on Tuesday morning; three days since recreational therapy, and three days since Beca had sung to her. And that moment seemed to be imprinted on her brain. The day before yesterday was uneventful, as it just consisted of therapy, and having breakfast, lunch and dinner with Beca. Yesterday though, Chloe didn't really come out of her room other than to go to therapy with Janet, seeing as it was a pretty bad day for her. She had a nightmare the previous night, one that she has been having a lot more often than usual these days. She didn't attend group therapy, which was a stupid idea, because the hospital will probably be on her case about that later today. But she didn't really care too much about it. Yesterday was a painful day, and although it seemed to drag, she's glad it's over. It still doesn't stop the fact that she feels like someone has ripped her heart out all over again, but at least it's over.

She found herself thinking about Beca She hadn't seen her at all yesterday, and she kind of found herself missing the small brunette. It was her fault for not actually coming out of her room, but she still missed her. And she wondered if Beca missed her too, but she had no time to dwell on it before someone was knocking on her door.

"Breakfast in thirty minutes!" a Tech yelled from outside, and Chloe frowned as she looked over at the clock on the wall. Her eyes squinted at it, and she widened her eyes when she realised that it was already 7AM. After a moment laying in bed, she groaned, throwing the covers off of her and standing up to stretch her arms above her head. Jessica was laying on her side watching Chloe, and the redhead smiled shyly at her before walking over to the bathroom.

After brushing her hair, brushing her teeth, and washing her face, she changed into a brown sweater and some grey sweatpants, putting some pumps on before straightening her bed. She then looked back over at Jessica, who was now brushing her hair as she mumbled to herself, and she gave a sympathetic smile to the back of her head before heading out for breakfast.

* * *

"Hey."

Beca turned around as she stood in line, smiling immediately when she saw that it was Chloe who greeted her.

"Good morning." she said with a nod of her head, sliding her breakfast tray along the side as she moved along in the queue. The redhead placed her tray down beside Beca's as she leaned over to pick an apple up out of one of the baskets, frowning and putting it back when she saw that it had soft, brown bruises on it.

"Where were you yesterday?" the brunette asked, glancing to her side as she moved along the queue. The redhead just shook her head though, shrugging her shoulders as she looked at what was available to eat today.

"I wasn't feeling very well."

"Oh. Are you feeling okay now?"

Chloe just nodded, looking at the cafeteria lady as she stood there with a smile. **_At least someone in this place looks happy_**, she thought to herself.

"What will it be?" the lady asked, looking between Beca and Chloe. The brunette went for a bowl of captain crunch, and Chloe opted for the pancakes again. Once they both received their food, they then got their drinks, Chloe getting an apple juice, and Beca getting some water. As Chloe started to make her way to the table she usually sits at, Beca steered her in the opposite direction, causing the redhead to frown confusedly.

"Where are we going?"

"Outside. It's a nice day." was all Beca said as she led them both out of the doors of the cafeteria, Chloe following Beca as she walked over to where there was a bench a few yards away from the lake they sat at the other day.

"So what was really wrong with you yesterday?" Beca asked once they were both seated opposite each other. The redhead looked up from her pancakes, shaking her head.

"What do you mean? I was ill."

"That's not true. Something's wrong."

"H-how.. how do you know?" Chloe stuttered.

"I don't know, I just.. know."

"I, um.." Chloe thought for a moment, about whether she should tell Beca or not. But then it clicked, that she was actually thinking of telling Beca. What was she doing? Why would she tell Beca such an important, intimate detail of her life? So instead of saying anything, she just shook her head as she looked down at her pancakes, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me." Beca whispered as she reached over and placed her hand on top of Chloe's, and the redhead suddenly pulled her hand back, placing them on her knees underneath the table. The brunette leaned back, frowning as she tried to hide the hurt in her eyes, but she didn't really need to. Because Chloe wasn't even looking at her. And that kinda hurt her even more.

"Sorry." Chloe mumbled, looking down at her hands as one of her fingers lightly stroked across one of the scars on her wrist. She still had her bruises on her wrists from where she was strapped down when she came in, but they didn't hurt as much. And they were fading, which was good.

"Don't be sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"No." Chloe shook her head, finally looking up at the brunette. And Beca could see the tears in her eyes, and truthfully, all she wanted to do was to take her in her arms, wrap her arms tightly around her and tell her that it's okay. That she's here for her. But she couldn't do that. So she just opted on looking at the redhead, her heart almost breaking at the emotion behind her blue eyes.

"You're here trying to help me, and I'm pushing you away." Chloe said with a bitter laugh. "I don't even know why you want to help me. You can't fix me."

"I'm not trying to fix you. I'm trying to be your friend."

"Why?"

Beca sighed, placing her spoon down in her bowl of cereal before reaching over to pick her juice up. She took a sip of it, before taking a bigger gulp, and then putting it back down. A few moments passed, with Beca just staring at her breakfast, and Chloe staring at Beca, before the brunette looked up at Chloe and they locked eyes.

"You're one of the only people I've met who gets me. Nobody gets me like you do."

"There are a lot more people in here who have gone through what you've gone through."

"I don't need anybody else."

"You don't need me, Beca."

The brunette let out a soft laugh, shaking her head as a tear fell down her cheek. She quickly brought her hand up to wipe it, trying her hardest not to let Chloe see her crying again.

"There's.." she cleared her throat. "There's something about you. Something that reminds me of someone. It scares me, but.."

The redhead raised her eyebrows, her eyes searching Beca's face as the brunette broke eye contact and looked to her left-hand side. Her eyes landed on Aubrey and Stacie, who seemed to be pretty close to each other as they laughed at something. It was the first time she had actually seen the two of them look so happy, and she couldn't help but feel jealous. Not over the fact that they were happy, but over the fact that they were happy with each other.

"But what?" Beca heard Chloe ask, and she just shook her head.

"You're different. You don't treat me like everybody else does. Like I'm about to break any second. Literally everyone I talk to treats me like a child. 'Beca, have you taken your medication?', 'Beca, do you feel suicidal today?', 'Beca, Beca, you look sad. Is your depression getting worse?' It just.. It fucking annoys me to no end. I like that you're not constantly on my case, and I.. I just like hanging out with you. I feel-I don't know. I feel a sort of.. pull? Towards you."

The redhead puffed out an unsteady breath of air when she saw the tears in the brunette's eyes as she carried on talking after taking another sip of her drink.

"I feel like I'm worth something when I'm with you, despite the fact that I've only known you since Friday. It takes a hell of a lot for me to trust someone, and don't get me wrong-it's not like I trust you with my life, but.. but I do trust you. I trust that you won't hurt me."

"And what about you?" Chloe asked nervously, putting her hands back on the table in front of her. "Will you hurt me?"

"I know what it feels like to be abandoned, Chloe. It's the reason I'm here right now."

Chloe nodded, heaving a sigh as she looked around her. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at Beca sheepishly.

"You know. When.. when you've become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you want-what you deserve..." Chloe corrected herself, "you have no fucking clue how to respond."

The brunette smiled sympathetically, nodding her head as she kept her eyes locked with Chloe's. And the redhead could see Beca's finger twitching as their hands rested inches away from each other.

"I'll never hurt you, Chloe." Beca whispered, her pointer finger jutting out to stroke Chloe's thumb, and they both couldn't deny the spark they felt when she did so. "I'll do everything I can to earn your trust. Once I have earned it, I promise you that I'll never, ever take advantage of it."

Chloe nodded, smiling a small, timid smile. "I have a feeling this isn't just about us being friends."

The brunette never planned on telling Chloe how she felt for her, or at least, not now. But with the way Chloe was looking at her, and the way Chloe's thumb was now resting on top of Beca's hand, the brunette figured that this was what Chloe wanted too.

"I love being your friend but.. I don't know. If you want to, I think.. I think I want to like, make it more." She shook her head as soon as she said the words, and Chloe let out a soft giggle at the brunette's nervousness.

"That didn't even make sense."

"I know. You make me nervous."

"Why?"

"Well," Beca shrugged nervously. "Because you're like, really pretty and stuff."

"Really pretty and stuff?" The redhead laughed again, louder this time, and Beca cleared her throat, looking at their two hands that rested on the table.

"Yeah. You're beautiful."

The redhead's face softened at the emotion in Beca's voice, seeing how serious she was. And Beca slowly turned her hand over, and Chloe immediately linked their fingers together. They locked eyes again, and they both smiled. A big, genuine smile. And they knew that neither of them needed to say any more. Because despite the fact that this place wasn't the safest, and it wasn't particularly the most romantic place to be either; they felt safe here with each other.


	11. Chapter 11

_**1 week later**_

She sucked in a breath, holding it for a second before letting it out. Her fingers twitched, and she let out a sigh while shaking her head. After a few moments, she reached out and knocked on the door. She didn't even have time to give herself a little pep talk - even though she may or may not have given herself one on the way here - before the door opened. And there stood Beca, clad in her usual attire; a blue plaid shirt and grey sweatpants, her hair down, flowing over her shoulders, along with her usual black eye-liner.

"Hey, come in." Beca said, flashing Chloe one of her rare, genuine smiles as she stepped out of the way. And the redhead smiled back shyly as she walked inside the brunette's room, looking around at the plain whiteness of the walls. The brunette's side of the room had a few posters up, but aside from that, the room was pretty bare, quite like Chloe's.

The redhead's eyes widened as she noticed that Beca had a laptop sat on her desk, along with a small DJ deck next to it.

"You're a DJ?" she asked as she approached the desk, placing a hand next to Beca's laptop as she looked at the small brunette, who stood nervously with her hands in her pockets.

"I mix music."

"I didn't know we were allowed to do stuff like that in here. I wasn't even allowed to bring my phone in."

"It's my way of coping with stress. They allowed me to bring them after a week of me being in here."

The redhead nodded as she moved away from the desk, moving over to sit on Beca's bed with another shy smile.

The brunette could feel how nervous Chloe was just from the way she was sat. It had been a week since the two of them decided to tell each other about how they felt. After breakfast that day, they spent the rest of the day beside each other, just loving being with each other. And that's basically how the rest of the week went too. They were still stepping around their relationship, and they didn't want to rush into anything, but frankly, Beca has been dying to kiss Chloe for days.

"I, um.." the brunette paused, walking over to sit on her swivel chair and opening her laptop. "I actually made a mix with you in mind."

"You did?"

"It's nothing special." she said, clicking around on her laptop for a few minutes, before she looked over at the redhead. And Chloe was already looking at Beca, her eyes wide and excited as she bit her lip.

"God, you're adorable." the brunette whispered, and Chloe blushed immediately at the comment. Beca gave her a small, nervous smile before she pressed play. The music flew out of the speakers, and Chloe's eyes lit up as she made herself comfy on Beca's bed.

_**Down, down in an earlier round,**_

"My guilty pleasure!" Chloe grinned as Beca sat down on the small bed next to her, her eyes widening when she heard another song merge perfectly with it.

_**Diana,**_

_**Down, down in an earlier round.**_

_**Am I more than you bargained for yet?**_

_**I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear,**_

_**Cause that's just who I am this week.**_

_**I never would mistreat you,**_

_**Oh I'm not a criminal,**_

_**I speak a different language but I still hear your call.**_

A grin formed on Chloe's face as she looked at Beca, shaking her head amusedly.

"This is amazing, Bec."

It was a mix of Fall Out Boy's 'Sugar We're Going Down' and One Direction's 'Diana'. Despite the fact that Chloe didn't particularly care for both bands, she could admit that they are very good songs. She remembered telling Beca about them when they were talking about what kind of music they listen to. She didn't think that the brunette would actually remember though. Never mind make her a mix of them both for her. And surprisingly, Beca was good. Very good.

_**Drop a heart, break a name,**_

_**We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team,**_

_**We're going down, down,**_

_**Let me be the one to, light a fire inside those eyes,**_

_**You've been lonely,**_

_**You don't even know me,**_

_**But I can feel you crying.**_

The redhead scooted closer to Beca, and the brunette could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She looked at Chloe beside her, to see the redhead gazing at her in amazement. And Beca would do anything just to kiss her right now. (and tell her that she has a whole USB full of mixes for her in her drawer.)

She took in the redhead's features. The flicker of her eyelashes when she blinked. The brightness of her eyes, that seem to be almost shining. The difference in how she actually looked today, like she was.. glowing, almost. She noticed the scar on her forehead, the one that Chloe had told her she got when she fell off of her bike when she was six years old. The pink, smoothness of her lips, and she watched when Chloe licked them, giving them a glossy effect. The way a few stray strands of hair hung in front of her eyes.

_**We're going down, down in an earlier round,**_

_**And Sugar, we're going down swinging,**_

_**I'll be your number one with a bullet,**_

_**A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it.**_

_**Diana,**_

_**Is this more than you bargained for yet?**_

_**Oh don't mind me, I'm watching you two from the closet,**_

_**Wishing to be just who I am this week.**_

She reached a hand up, smiling as she tucked the strands of hair behind Chloe's ear. The action was soft and tentative, and Chloe was looking at her - _gazing_ at her - as if she was the only thing that matters. As if she loved her.

She pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind though, even when Chloe turned her head and rested it on Beca's shoulder as she placed her hand on the brunette's jean-clad thigh. And Beca, trying to ignore the pounding in her heart, and the butterflies in her stomach, sat almost lifeless; not daring to make any sudden movements in case Chloe moved away.

_**I wanna reach out for you,**_

_**I wanna break these walls,**_

_**I speak a different language but I still hear you call**_

_**Drop a heart, break a name,**_

_**We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team.**_

_**We're going down, down,**_

_**Diana,**_

_**Let me be the one to light a fire inside those eyes.**_

_**You've been lonely,**_

_**You don't even know me,**_

_**But I can feel you crying.**_

The brunette lifted her arm up, wrapping it around Chloe's shoulders when she felt the redhead snuggle in closer to her. She slowly moved her head, resting her mouth just beside Chloe's forehead. And Chloe's stomach turned, filling with butterflies, and she could feel Beca's soft, warm breath against her skin.

The brunette's heart was racing as she felt Chloe's hand on her thigh. It felt so warm and so right. And this was the first time she'd ever been this close to Chloe since they met. It was the first time she had felt the redhead's body against hers. It was the first time she had been this close to anybody in years.

And it was scary as fuck.

_**Diana,**_

_**We're going down, down in an earlier round,**_

_**And Sugar, we're going down swinging,**_

_**I'll be your number one with a bullet,**_

_**A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it.**_

_**We all need something,**_

_**This can't be over now,**_

_**Down, down in an earlier round,**_

_**And Sugar, we're going down swinging,**_

_**I'll be your number one with a bullet,**_

_**A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it.**_

_**We're going down, down,**_

Chloe closed her eyes, feeling Beca's soft breath against her forehead. She turned her head to look at the brunette, their eyes searching each others as the song repeated it's chorus before coming to an end.

_**We're going down, down in an earlier round,**_

_**And Sugar, we're going down swinging,**_

_**I'll be your number one with a bullet,**_

_**A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it.**_

The room filled with silence as they both looked at each other. And Beca breathed out a shaky breath as her deep blue eyes looked up at Chloe, flickering between her eyes and her lips. And Chloe shuddered as she felt Beca's breath against her lips as the brunette leaned in slightly. They were so close, and Chloe's heart was thudding in her chest as their lips moved closer and closer towards each other.

But then the door opened, and Beca quickly pulled back with a silent, disappointed groan.

"Beca."

Both girls turned to look at the door, sighing when they saw Janet standing with her usual clip board in her hand and her glasses perched on her nose. They eyed her, both only just noticing that she looked to be out of breath and pretty sweaty.

"What is it?" Beca asked as she stood up, but not moving too far away from Chloe, who sat on the bed with attentive eyes.

"Luke's here."


	12. Chapter 12

Beca was trying her hardest to hide her smile as she followed Janet down the white hall. There were a few people standing around, but none of them paid any attention to her. She was almost tripping over her feet with excitement as they neared Janet's office. Her hands, which would normally be buried in her pockets, swung at each side of her as she excitedly jogged along. And once they arrived, the woman didn't even have chance to open the door before Beca burst through it, instantly looking around the room for her best friend.

"Luke!"

The British man turned around, standing up from his chair and holding his arms out with a grin just in time for Beca to crash into him. She tightly wrapped her arms around his torso, smiling brightly as she felt his strong arms hold her against his tall, hard body. Neither of them said anything for the moment as they just hugged, both being too overwhelmed at seeing each other.

She hasn't seen Luke since the day before she came in here 4 weeks ago; the day she attempted to kill herself. And she should be mad, or at least a little pissed off that Luke hadn't visited her, but just seeing her best friend standing here, holding her and making her feel safe; it was enough to make her forget about all that. So she held onto him for a few more moments, before pulling away and looking up at him.

"You've had a haircut." she said with a smile as she brought a hand up to rub her watery eyes. And Luke laughed as he pushed her shoulder.

"And I see you haven't grown at all."

She grinned at him, finally stepping back and looking him up and down.

"It's so good to see you, man."

He smiled at her, and the two of them just looked at each other for a few seconds before the sound of Janet clearing her throat caught both their attention.

"I'll give you two some privacy." she smiled as she stepped out of the office and gently shut the door behind her.

Beca turned back around to look at Luke before walking over to the chair to sit down. She pulled her legs up and crossed them as usual, placing both elbows on the chair arms beside her. The blonde man then sat down on the chair opposite her, leaning his elbows on his thighs as he leaned forward in the chair.

"How's the wrist?" he asked, motioning towards Beca's arm, which was covered by her sleeve.

"All healed."

"And the head?"

"I'm fine, Luke." she sighed.

"Okay," he said, holding his hands up in mock surrender, with a smirk on his face. "I just wanted to make sure they're actually treating you well in here."

"They are."

The two sat in silence for a moment, Beca looking at the floor nervously, and Luke looking around Janet's office. And he could almost hear the cogs turning in Beca's head. He knew she wanted to tell him something, but he didn't want to push her. He knew his best friend too well to know that whenever she has something to say, she will take her time, and tell him when she's ready.

However, Beca felt the exact opposite right now. She would normally just beat around the bush and make small talk, but right now; she's thinking about telling Luke about Chloe. Because she honestly can't hold it in any longer. She wants to tell him how amazing Chloe is, and how much she likes her, despite the fact that she's only known her just less than two weeks. She wants to tell him how different she is, and how that's a good thing. And she wants to tell him all the little details about the redhead, like how cute she is when she scrunches her nose up, and how her eyes seem to glow, and she almost gets lost in them every time she talks to her, and she wants to tell them they've already almost kissed. And just thinking about it gives her butterflies.

Before she could say anything though, Luke spoke up in a small, sheepish whisper.

"I've missed you, you know."

"I've missed you too."

The man looked up at her with a glint in his eyes as he spoke. "I would have come to visit you, but.. I couldn't really.. I just couldn't."

The brunette nodded her head, unconsciously tapping her forefinger and her ring finger on her knee.

"If I'm honest, I'm glad you didn't. Although I hate this place, and I've practically been going crazy, I preferred you not visiting. I don't want you seeing me in a place like this."

"You're ashamed to be in here, aren't you?"

She let out a bitter laugh, ignoring the stinging in her eyes. "Of course I'm ashamed, Luke. I'm 21 years old, ready to graduate University, and I tried to kill myself over the most stupid thing."

"No." Luke shook his head as he leaned more forward in his seat and looked straight at her. "It wasn't stupid. You just.. you were hurting, and you thought that it was the best way out. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I thought that I'd hit rock bottom when Mom died. But then.. Then Iris died, and.. That was my rock bottom."

"I know, Bec, but you've got to stop blaming yourself over that. It was almost a year ago."

"That doesn't mean shit! It still happened, Luke!"

The blonde man withdrew at the sound of Beca snapping at him. He knew what she was doing. She was building her walls up all over again, and that was dangerous territory; but this time he wouldn't let her shut him out.

"Beca. You just said you've hit rock bottom. That means you can only go up from here, right? You'll be out of here in two weeks, so I think that it's-"

"-What?" Beca snapped, looking at him with wide eyes.

"What?"

"What do you mean I'll be out in two weeks?"

"Exactly that." he said with a shake of his head, a confused look on his face. "Your contract said a month and a half. You've been in here a month already."

Beca's face seemed to pale, and Luke looked at her with a confused smile. He let out a soft laugh, opening his mouth to speak, before closing it again. "I would have thought you'd be a little happier to know you're getting out of this place, Becky."

"No, I am." Beca lied, half smiling as she looked down at her lap, and her hands started to play with the string on her sweatpants. She sniffed up, blinking back the tears she wanted to let out so badly.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked, and she shook her head with a bitter laugh.

"It's nothing. Um.. I have therapy soon, so I should go."

"Beca, I've only just got here-"

"-I want you to leave." Beca said as she stood up and started to walk towards the door. And Luke frowned, standing up and following behind her. The brunette opened the door, turning to give Luke a quick smile, before stepping out into the hall, and making her way back to her dorm.

"What happened?" Janet asked as she looked at Luke, before averting her eyes to watch Beca walk further and further down the corridor.

"I'm pretty sure she's met someone. Someone who's worth staying in here for."

* * *

Beca angrily wiped at her eyes as she approached her dorm. She didn't know why she was so upset with the fact that she'd be leaving in two weeks. If this was last week, she'd be over the moon to get out of here. She misses Luke like hell, and she hates to admit it, but she even misses college.

She sniffed up, taking a few little breaths in and out, before reaching in her pocket for her key. She pushed down the handle, rubbing her eyes as she stepped into her room, shocked to see Chloe sat on her bed reading a book.

"Chloe?"

The redhead looked up over her glasses which were perched on her nose, smiling shyly at the brunette. "Hi."

"You waited up for me?"

"Of course I waited up for you."

And the brunette smiled, walking over to sit next to Chloe on her bed. She looked at the book that she was reading, seeing that it was John Green's 'The Fault In Our Stars', one of the books that Beca had brought in with her a month ago. And just thinking about the fact that she's already been here a month, makes Beca's heart hurt. Not only for herself, but for Chloe. Because she'll be leaving her, and Chloe needs her. And she might not know it yet, but she needs Chloe. But she pushed that thought to the back of her mind, not wanting to tell the redhead that she was leaving just yet.

Instead, the two of them got into a discussion about the book, Chloe being oblivious to the hammering in Beca's chest as she thought about what would happen in two weeks.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So this story is going like, a totally different way than the movie. All for a good cause though, eventually. It'll still be following the movie, but I want to spice things up a little bit first.**

* * *

It was 6:30PM and Beca and Chloe were walking up to Beca's dorm room. They had just had dinner, which consisted of a chicken salad for Chloe and a lousy burger and chips for Beca. They decided to skip dessert and just head back to be with each other, free of Tech's and Doctors, before curfew at 11PM.

After the conversation with Luke, Beca found herself quite mad at the fact that she would be leaving in two weeks. And truthfully, all she wanted to do was to just curl up in a ball on her bed and sleep for days. But then, just seeing Chloe waiting for her on her bed when she got back, made all those feelings go away. And she figured that just being with Chloe was enough to make all the bad feelings go away, despite how much she wanted to be mad at herself for forgetting.

They were walking close to each other, their arms brushing with every other step they took. And Beca, loving the feeling of Chloe's arm touching hers, swallowed her pride and flexed her fingers. She wiped them on her jeans before slowly reaching out and touching Chloe's hand, keeping her head looking forward as she did so. And Chloe, feeling Beca's hand trying to touch hers, turned to look at the brunette and smiled at her, before looking down at their hands. She let the brunette entwine their fingers, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling when she felt how perfect their hands moulded together.

After another five minutes walking, they found themselves outside Beca's door. And the brunette reached in the pocket for her key before opening the door, pushing it open and motioning for Chloe to go in first. The redhead smiled as a thank you, although she still kept a hold of Beca's hand, pulling her into the room with her.

"Do you have Netflix?" the redhead asked as she pulled Beca towards the bed where the brunette's laptop was sat.

"Yeah but, I don't like.. have an account."

"You don't have a Netflix account?"

"No, I don't really watch movies." Beca laughed nervously, scratching the back of her head as she kept hold of Chloe's hand, not wanting to let go of it yet.

"Oh. Well, do you wanna watch one with me?" Chloe asked, and Beca smiled at just how adorable she thought the redhead was when she was nervous.

"Yeah, of course, I'd love to."

"Okay, I'll sign on to my account then?"

"Right. I'm just gonna pee."

"Okay." Chloe giggled, unwillingly letting go of Beca's hand as the brunette walked towards the bathroom. The redhead sat down with her back against the wall, moving to put a pillow behind her to lean on as she picked up Beca's laptop and opened it up. At first she expected for the brunette to have a password on her laptop, but was surprised to see that it came on straight away with the browser already on.

She was about to type in the search bar, but stopped when she saw that Beca had left it on her emails. Her eyes looked up towards the bathroom door, biting her lip in apprehension before looking back at the screen. Showing on the screen, was an email that Beca had received two years ago. Her eyebrows knitted together and nothing but confusion formed on her face as she read the email.

**Beca,**

**Please talk to me. I've tried calling you, texting you, leaving you messages, I stop by your house everyday but you're never in. I've tried everything, and this is my only resort left. And I know for a fact that you check your emails daily so I know you'll see this. Where are you, Beca? I need you, baby. Please. I want to know that you're safe. That's all I need. Please just call me or email me back. I love you, okay? Please believe me.**

**Iris x**

Chloe frowned. Why had Beca never told her about this girl? And why was Beca reading over their emails from two years ago? Is she still hooked on an ex that Chloe doesn't know about? Are they still dating? The redhead was confused, but before she could read anything else, she heard the toilet flush from the bathroom.

She quickly clicked on another tab and typed in Netflix, logging onto her account quickly before closing the tab with Beca's emails on it. She sighed in relief when Beca opened the door, and the Netflix site logged her on just in time.

"You picked a movie?" Beca asked as she walked over to the redhead, dropping down on the bed next to her. And Chloe flinched as she felt the brunette put her arm around her shoulder, suddenly feeling like she shouldn't be letting Beca do all of this stuff when she might already have a girlfriend.

"I figured we could pick together." the redhead simply said, not moving away from the brunette in case she got suspicious. So instead, she let the brunette move in closer to her, despite how wrong it felt, as they both picked a movie together. Eventually, they both settled on the movie '500 Days of Summer'.

As the laptop rested on Chloe's lap, Beca leaned her head on Chloe's shoulder, and the redhead was glad that Beca wasn't able to see the turmoil in her eyes as she thought about the email. She didn't even acknowledge the snarky comments and remarks that Beca was making all the way through the movie, and before she knew it; it was 8:15PM and the end credits were rolling down the screen.

The brunette lifted her head up from Chloe's shoulder, groaning as she felt her neck crack from having laid in the position for too long. She laughed as she looked at Chloe, and the redhead looked back at her, nervously biting at her lip.

"You okay?" the brunette whispered, taking in their close proximity as Mumm-Ra's 'She's Got You High' played as background music. Her eyes flickered down to Chloe's lips again as the redhead nodded, and Beca found herself leaning in for the second time that day.

But Chloe shook her head, closing the laptop as she shuffled off of the bed and put the laptop beside her. She was unaware of the disappointment in Beca's face as she went to turn the light on. Then she turned around, awkwardly smiling at the brunette as Beca put her laptop on the small table at the side of her bed.

"Beca?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh, I have a question." she breathed out as she approached the brunette, sitting down beside her, but still keeping a respectable distance between them. And when Beca didn't answer, instead just giving her a reassuring look, she decided to not beat around the bush, and just go for it.

"Um.. who's Iris?"

Immediately, Beca's face dropped as she stared at Chloe, her eyebrows slowly knitting together. She shook her head, opening and closing her mouth a few times as if trying to spit her words out. Eventually though, she managed to ask, "how do you know about her?"

"When I opened your laptop, it was left on your emails. I didn't-"

"Why did you read my emails?" the brunette asked, and Chloe closed her eyes, not wanting to see the hurt look that was now plastered across Beca's face.

"Bec, I swear, I didn't mean to read them. I just got confused when I saw that-"

"-That's bullshit, Chloe!"

The redhead winced, looking away from Beca as the brunette stood up and walked across the room.

"Bec I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"-No, just.. stop. Stop talking." Beca said calmly. "You shouldn't have done that. That's not fucking cool."

"I'm sorry, okay? At least I told you and didn't keep it to myself."

"That doesn't excuse what you did! They are my private emails!"

"I want to be here for you, Beca."

"I don't need you, Chloe!"

The brunette breathed out a sigh, instantly regretting the words that escaped her mouth so easily. She turned away from the redhead, not letting her see the tears in her eyes.

"Wow." Chloe breathed out, standing up and walking towards the door.

"No, Chloe." Beca said, rushing towards the door just in time to put her leg in front of it before the redhead left. "I didn't mean that, I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine." Chloe sighed with a shake of her head, suddenly feeling an ache in her head as she reached out for the door handle. "Let me out."

"No, I-"

"-Beca, let me out of the door."

_**She's not gonna let you out!**_

_**Say goodbye!**_

_**You're gonna be trapped forever!**_

"No let's settle this, Chloe." Beca whispered, stepping closer to the redhead. "I didn't mean that, I just got angry-"

_**This is where you die!**_

"-and I didn't want you seeing those emails and- Chloe?" Beca's eyes widened when she saw the fear in Chloe's eyes, watching as the redhead covered her ears and cried out, a loud, ear-piercing scream.

"Chloe? Chloe, talk to me, are you okay?!" the brunette asked as she stepped towards Chloe, wrapping her arms around her as tears streamed down the redhead's face. She was shaking, and violent sobs escaped her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut enough to see a series of swirls and shapes behind her eyelids.

"NO! Get away from me!" Chloe screamed, thrashing about in Beca's arms as she felt her legs start to give way. "Stop it! Leave me alone!"

"Chloe, it's okay. I've got you." Beca whispered next to her ear, holding Chloe in her arms as she lowered them to the ground.

_**She's gonna kill you now, hahahaha!**_

"Please stop!"

"Chloe, you're okay. It's just your imagination."

She continued to console the redhead in a soft voice, running a hand through her hair as she held her against her chest. And Chloe's fingers were digging into her arm, and Beca was pretty sure that she may have broken some skin there, but she couldn't think of that at the moment. Instead, she just held the redhead in her arms and occasionally whispered heartfelt consolations into her ear.

And the last thing Chloe heard was Beca's voice telling her that she's sorry, before everything went black.


	14. Chapter 14

Beca's knees bounced up and down, her hands shaking as she buried her head in them. Her nails dug into her scalp as she sobbed silently. Tears splattering on the hospital floor, creating a small puddle there. Her head was pounding from crying for so long. 9 hours to be exact. She waited up all night, not moving from her spot on the hospital chair, and she was pretty sure she was slowly going insane.

_**How ironic**_, she thought.

With a sigh and a deep breath, she lifted her head up and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, smearing her black eye-liner under her eyes and onto her hand. She looked to her left, seeing a middle-aged man sat a few chairs down from her, with his head in his hands like she was a minute ago. She found herself wondering who he was here for, and what his story was. And as much as she wanted to ask, she didn't want to talk to anybody right now. Nobody except Chloe.

The rest of the corridor was empty, sans a few nurses walking in and out of different rooms. There was a TV on the wall playing a documentary about whales, but the sound was blocked out by the pounding of Beca's heart as she waited on edge for any news. Her eyes found their way to the clock on the wall, shaking her head with a sigh when she saw that it was almost 5:30AM.

"Ms Mitchell?"

The brunette's head snapped up to see the nurse from earlier stood with a clipboard in her hand. And she immediately stood up, searching the woman's eyes for any pity or commiseration. However, when she saw the blonde woman smile reassuringly, her heart felt like it skipped a beat.

"She's okay?"

"She's okay. She's pretty tired, and a little shook up, but that's normal."

"Can I see her?"

The nurse nodded as she led Beca to Chloe's room, opening the door for her with an encouraging, gentle smile.

The brunette looked into the room, sighing in relief when she saw Chloe sat up in bed looking out of the window. And despite how dull and dark the room was, she couldn't help but notice how beautiful the redhead looked. It was as if the morning light from the window was shining right on Chloe; the calm in the storm, if you could say.

She cleared her throat as she walked into the room, and Chloe's head turned to look at her, her eyes immediately lighting up at the sight of Beca.

"You waited up for me." she said, repeating Beca's words from earlier, and the brunette let out a soft, nervous laugh.

She approached Chloe's side, looking down at her with a smile.

"Of course I waited up for you."

They looked at each other for a few seconds before Chloe broke eye contact, as if suddenly remembering what had happened 9 hours earlier. She looked back out at the sunrise out of the window, her eyes taking in the beauty, all the different colours mixed together. It cast sunbeams in every direction, illuminating the town as she watched the colours slowly but surely change, growing more vivid.

But as beautiful as the morning was, she knew today would be horrible.

What a wonderful contradiction.

The redhead felt a weight beside her on the bed, and she turned to see Beca sat right next to her. And she couldn't take her eyes off of the brunette sat so close to her, even when the brunette looked out of the window at the rising sun. She watched the way the sun reflected in Beca's eyes, giving them an orange glow. And she watched the way her tongue stuck out slightly to lick her lips, her teeth resting on her bottom lip as she eyed the sunset, completely absorbed in the beauty of it.

"There's a quote that Luke once told me." Beca said quietly as she kept her eyes on the sunrise, and Chloe kept her eyes on Beca as she spoke. "William Arthur Ward. Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long," she paused as she turned to look at Chloe, "you miss them."

The two looked at each other longingly with dark eyes, their eyes frantically roaming each other's faces as they leaned in. The brunette reached up with one hand and cupped Chloe's face, fingers gently stroking over her jawbone as their eyes simultaneously fluttered shut. And Beca stuck her tongue out again to lick her bottom lip, just in time for their lips to meet softly.

For a moment, Chloe simply breathed, not believing that Beca was actually kissing her. But then she kissed her back. And Beca kissed the redhead with as much confidence as she could muster, her lips parting further and her head tilting to match Chloe's as the redhead held onto her elbow, wanting any type of contact to remind herself that this was actually happening right now.

Their mouths seemed to fit together perfectly. They were kissing. Like, actually, really kissing, despite the fact that neither of them had washed since yesterday, and Chloe's lips felt as dry as the Sahara desert.

But they were kissing. And it was nice. It was gentle but full of want and need, and maybe it was the drugs in her system, but Chloe felt light-headed at the feeling of the brunette's lips on hers.

Even when they stopped kissing, they kept their faces close together as the relished in the moment. Their foreheads pressed together as Beca gently moved her hand to Chloe's neck, her fingers stroking over the hairs on the nape of her neck.

"Beca." Chloe whispered, still keeping her eyes shut. Even when Beca pulled away slightly and opened her own eyes, the redhead still kept them shut, in fear of not what she _would_ see if she opened them, but what she _wouldn't_ see.

"Yeah." Beca answered as she gazed at the woman in front of her, looking so small and fragile.

"I'm sorry I read your email."

The brunette let out a choked sob, her eyes filling with tears as she kept them on Chloe's face. And the redhead finally opened her eyes, her eyebrows knitting together when she saw the brunette crying.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just.." the brunette paused as she cleared her throat, letting go of Chloe's neck to play with the ends of her hair. "I waited 9 hours with nothing but hope, thinking that whatever had happened was my fault. You really think I care that you saw a stupid email?"

A small smile tugged on the corner of Chloe's lips as she looked into Beca's eyes, feeling her own eyes pooling with tears at the brunette's confession. She breathed out a sigh, and Beca shuddered at the feeling of Chloe's breath on her lips.

"You don't have to tell me, but who is Iris?" the redhead asked, and Beca sighed as she removed her hand from Chloe's hair, breaking eye contact to look down at the bed. But then Chloe hooked her fingers under her chin, tilting Beca's head up so she could look at her as she whispered, "you don't have to tell me."

"No." Beca shook her head as she took Chloe's hand in hers, running her hand over her small, fragile wrist as she looked into the redhead's eyes. "She's an ex."

The redhead nodded and waited patiently, watching as Beca swallowed a lump in her throat.

"She died. 12 months ago."

"Bec, I'm.. I'm sorry."

The brunette just shook her head, letting a tear fall down her face. And Chloe immediately reached a hand up to cup Beca's face, wiping the pad of her thumb over the fallen tear on her cheekbone.

"I promise that I'll tell you more one day, but.. can we just.. can we-"

"-Of course." Chloe interrupted with a nod. "We don't have to talk about it."

Beca smiled as a thank you, and Chloe smiled back as she pulled Beca in to hug her. The brunette wrapped her arms around the redhead, resting her head on her shoulder as she breathed in her scent. And even though the redhead smelt like antiseptic and a weird smelling detergent, and the angle that she was sat was making the brunette's neck ache; Beca wouldn't want to be in anybody else's arms.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I saw that someone reviewed last chapter asking how Beca got to the hospital. I didn't make it clear, but Chloe didn't go to a different hospital, she stayed in Barden. Just thought I'd put that out there to let you all know that they didn't have to travel anywhere.**

* * *

_**3 years ago...**_

_**Beca yawned as she opened the door to the library, a cup of coffee in her hand as she looked down at her phone to see that it had just turned 7:30AM. She had Philosophy 101 today but that wasn't for another three hours. However, her creepy Korean room-mate had kicked her out due to her having to study, despite the fact that they had only started their Freshman year two weeks ago. **_

_**She would have stood her ground and told Kimmy Jin that she was going to stay, but then the girl gave her that weird, I-swear-I'm-gonna-fucking-kill-you-in-your-sleep-if-you-don't-get-out-of-here look. (She could have sworn she had never gotten ready and rushed out of the door so quickly than she had after Kimmy glared at her like that.)**_

_**She stifled another yawn as she adjusted the strap on her laptop bag, looking around the empty library with tired eyes. She took a sip of her coffee that she had picked up on the way here, walking over to one of the empty tables. **__**She put her coffee down on the table and sat down, taking her laptop out of her bag and opening it up. **__**She also pulled out her Philosophy book, to make it look like she was actually doing work, as she didn't particularly want to be bothered at all today. With another drink of her coffee, she opened up her mixing software and put her headphones over her ears, immediately going to work on her newest mix.**_

_**She was working on a new remix of David Guetta's 'Titanium' and The Proclaimers' '500 Miles'. After hearing the David Guetta song on the radio a few weeks ago, she couldn't help but notice how well it would go with the Proclaimers' song. Now all she had to do was add some finishing touches to it.**_

_**Only a half hour into mixing, Beca felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned around to see a blonde girl with short hair standing behind her.**_

_**"You're in my seat."**_

_**The brunette slid her headphones down so they were resting around her neck, and turned around to fully face the girl. She took this time to observe her as well. The blonde was wearing dark eye-liner just like her, black jeans, a ripped Nirvana t-shirt and a denim jacket.**_

_**"I'm sorry, what?" Beca asked, shaking her head.**_

_**"The seat you're sitting in. It's mine."**_

_**"Oh.. well, uh.. can't you just sit somewhere else? There's like a hundred other seats in here."**_

_**The blonde frowned, pulling out the chair next to Beca and sitting down on it. She eyed the brunette, squinting at her as she rested one hand on the table and the other on the back of Beca's chair.**_

_**"You have a funny accent." the blonde finally said, and Beca let out a nervous laugh.**_

_**"I have a funny accent? You have a funny jacket."**_

_**The blonde's mouth widened as she looked down at her jacket, a dark denim one with about thirty different types of badges sewn on to it.**_

_**"This is a 80's Vintage Jordache jacket, it's cool!"**_

_**"About as cool as your haircut." Beca mumbled, turning to face her laptop again, very much aware of the blonde staring at the side of her head.**_

_**"At least I don't have those.. things, in my ears." the blonde said, pointing at the brunette's ear piercings. And Beca smirked as she turned to look at the blonde.**_

_**"You have one in your nose though. Isn't that the same thing?"**_

_**The girl squinted again, and Beca could see that she was trying her hardest not to smile. A few seconds passed, with them just looking at each other, before the girl finally held her hand out in front of her with a smile.**_

_**"What's up, I'm Iris."**_

* * *

"Beca. Bec, wake up."

"Wha- yeah. I'm up, I'm up." Beca mumbled, her brain still a little incoherent from her dream.

The redhead smiled, brushing Beca's hair out of her face as her eyes fluttered open. And the brunette yawned, her eyes squeezing shut as she stretched her arms out in front of her. It was only when Chloe giggled at her, that she realised where she actually was. She was with Chloe. Not with Iris.

Her body was pressed up against the redhead's, with Chloe's arms wrapped around her. Their faces were dangerously close, and she could almost feel the redhead's breath against her lips every time she breathed out. And Chloe was smiling at her. And she looked absolutely beautiful.

"Evening." Chloe whispered, her eyes glancing down to look at Beca's lips, before flicking back up to look into her eyes. The brunette smiled, lifting her hand up to cup Chloe's face. She caressed the redhead's jaw with her fingers, gently running the pad of her thumb over Chloe's cheek. She pushed the thoughts of Iris to the back of her mind, despite how much it was nagging at her.

"How long have I been sleeping?" Beca asked quietly, afraid that if she raised her voice, it would break their little bubble they had going on.

"Well, it's almost 6pm. About 9 hours."

Beca's eyes widened.

"Have I missed my therapy session? Shit! Janet's gonna kill me." she mumbled as she pulled the covers off of herself and jumped out of bed, going to pick her jacket up off of the chair. It wasn't until she got it on, that she heard Chloe talking to her.

"-calm down, Janet came up and told me that you didn't have to go today. She saw how tired you were from having to wait up all night for me."

The brunette stopped what she was doing and walked over to the bed, perching on the end of it. She took Chloe's hand in hers, and ran her fingers over the redhead's knuckles.

"I didn't _have_ to wait up for you. I wanted to."

The redhead nodded with a small smile.

"Well, today is, uh.. a day off. So.. Can we just.." the redhead paused to clear her throat nervously, and Beca smiled as she scooted closer to her and lifted Chloe's head to look at her.

"Hey, it's okay." Beca whispered. "What's up?"

"Sorry, I just.. Can we just spend the day together? Or what's left of it? No therapy. No tech's-"

"-That's pretty hard, Chlo, they're everywhere."

Chloe shook her head stiffly, letting out a breath of air.

"Janet... Janet said that we could have the night to ourselves. Just to.. I don't know, feel normal. To feel like we're not crazy."

"We're not crazy." Beca smiled as she kept her hand on Chloe's neck, playing with the little strands of hair on the back of it and smiling when the redhead shuddered. They looked at each other for a few seconds, before Beca leaned in, pulling Chloe towards her by her neck, and placed a chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"So, you wanna go for a walk?" Beca asked, and Chloe nodded with a smile.

"I'd like that."

The redhead got out of bed, looking down at her sweatpants and t-shirt. She had gotten changed earlier, but she still felt a little dressed down, even if they were only going for a walk. She didn't know why she felt the need to try and look good for Beca. The brunette had seen her at her worst now; but she still felt a little too ill-groomed.

"Don't worry." Beca said, pulling her out of her little reverie. She looked up at Beca, who had a small smile on her face as she said, "you look beautiful."

The brunette then held her hand out, and Chloe took it willingly, threading their fingers together as Beca led them to the door. She opened it and looked at Chloe with a cheesy grin.

"After you m'lady."


	16. Chapter 16

The two were walking hand-in-hand through the hospital grounds as the sun was low in the sky. Barden was surprisingly quiet, apart from a few people sitting around talking. Because it was quite cold outside though, most of the patients were inside, keeping warm. It was almost as if they all knew that Beca and Chloe wanted to be alone. There was nobody around to ask them why they were out, and there were no Tech's keeping their eyes on them. Apart from the security camera's, they were completely alone. (Because come on, this was a mental hospital. They had to have at least _some_ supervision.)

Chloe shivered, the action not going unnoticed by Beca.

"Are you cold?" the brunette asked, unzipping her leather jacket and taking it off when the redhead nodded. She held the coat up and helped Chloe put it on. And the redhead was pretty sure that her heart was about to melt at the action. Especially when Beca smiled shyly at her as she zipped the coat up for her.

They carried on walking, Beca moving a little closer to Chloe as the redhead entwined their fingers again.

"You know one of the things that's on my bucket list," Chloe said as the two of them approached a little hill next to some trees. "To watch both the sunrise and the sunset in the same day."

Beca smiled as they walked up the hill, eventually reaching the top where they were met with the lake that they had been sitting at the other day, except now they were at the other side of it, further away from the hospital.

"We've already watched the sunrise this morning." Beca said as she led Chloe over to sit on the grass in front of the lake. She pointed up at the sun, that was starting to set in the sky. "Looks like we're just in time for the sunset."

Chloe smiled as she sat cross-legged on the ground next to Beca, feeling the brunette's fingers playing with hers, her thumb absent-mindedly tracing over her knuckles, and down past her wrist. She gasped quietly when Beca ran her finger over a scar, and the brunette looked up into her eyes.

"Are you okay?" the brunette asked, and Chloe nodded with a small smile.

"It just feels weird."

The brunette smiled, lifting up Chloe's hand to kiss the scars on her wrist, just like before. And it melted her heart when the brunette put Chloe's hand on her own cheek, and the redhead stroked a thumb across her cheekbone. The brunette closed her eyes and breathed in, feeling Chloe's hand stroke down her cheek, and then run her fingers down to her neck.

She breathed out a shuddering breath, opening her eyes and locking them with Chloe's again, suddenly frowning when she saw tears in the redhead's eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing." she shook her head. "This just.. it feels so normal. Is that crazy?"

"Nah." Beca smiled. "You thinking that the law library was haunted; that's crazy. This... this is fine."

Chloe smiled, shuffling closer to Beca.

"So what else is on this bucket list of yours?" Beca asked, and the redhead pouted her lips for a second, making a thinking face, before her eyes lit up.

"Skinny dipping."

The brunette's eyes widened as she looked at Chloe, out at the lake, and then back to Chloe.

"Not happening."

"Not here anyway." Chloe winked. "I'll get you to skinny dip with me once we're both out of here."

Beca smiled as she wrapped her arm around Chloe, and the redhead rested her head on her shoulder with a content sigh. The brunette thought about telling Chloe that she'd be leaving soon, but pushed the thought to the back of her mind. Instead, they just sat in content silence for a while.

"Bec." Chloe spoke up quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Were you in love with Iris?"

The brunette sucked in a breath, looking up at the sunset as she thought about her answer. Obviously she was in love with Iris. Of course she was. And if this was a few weeks ago, she'd tell you that she still _is_ in love with her. But now, saying that she _is_ in love with Iris, instead of saying she _was_ in love with her; it just sounded.. wrong.

"I'm not gonna lie, she was the love of my life." Beca whispered after a few seconds of silence. And the redhead nodded, placing her hand on Beca's thigh and rubbing it gently.

"Have you ever been in love?" Beca asked, and Chloe shook her head, not saying anything else afterwards. The brunette didn't dwell on it either, instead just planting a kiss on the side of Chloe's head as they both looked over the lake.

The two watched the sunset over the horizon, watching the sky change from an array of pinks, oranges and yellows, as the clouds stretched long across the horizon. The rays of lights glimmered until the light of the moon peaked out from behind some clouds, and the sky progressively darkened. It was getting colder too, but the two of them didn't mind. They just moved closer to each other, loving the way their bodies felt like they were on fire as they touched.

"I have another question." Chloe spoke up, pulling Beca out of her reverie.

"Shoot."

The redhead removed her head from Beca's shoulder so she could look at her.

"What are your parents like?"

Beca immediately shook her head, looking down at the ground as she unconsciously pulled out handfuls of blades of grass.

"I don't like talking about it."

"Not even one parent? Your mom?"

"I can't.. I can't talk about that. Not right now."

The redhead nodded, her jaw set firm in place as she looked back out at the water. Already, Beca could tell that she was mad at her.

"Chloe-"

"-Why do you never tell me anything?"

"It's a sore subject for me." Beca answered, sensing how angry the redhead was with just the tone of her voice.

"Everything is a sore subject. I thought you trusted me, Beca."

The brunette shook her head, looking up into Chloe's eyes.

"I trust you. I just can't talk about my parents right now. You have to understand that I'm not used to this, Chloe. I don't open up to people as easy as you do and-"

"-You think I find it easy opening up to people?"

"No I didn't mean it like that, I-"

"-You can drop the act, Beca. Just admit that you're scared."

"Of course I'm scared!" Beca yelled, frowning when Chloe stood up so she was hovering over her. Not liking that the redhead was looking down at her, Beca also stood up, her eyebrows knitting together when Chloe stepped away from her.

"I'm terrified." Beca whispered, her voice breaking slightly.

"Then let me help you."

Her bottom lip trembled, and she looked around with watery eyes, trying to distract herself. She's already cried in front of Chloe enough times, and she's not gonna do it again.

"I don't need help."

The redhead let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head and ignoring the tear that ran down her face. "Then why are you here?"

Beca opened her mouth to answer, but suddenly stopped when she looked at Chloe.

"Dude, your nose."

Chloe frowned confusedly, bringing her hand up to touch her nose, and then pulling it back to look at. She gasped when she saw that there was blood on her hand, and she looked over at the brunette, who had a worried look on her face.

Beca suddenly surged forward, seeing nothing but pure fear in Chloe's eyes as her legs gave way and she fell to her knees. The brunette reached her just in time though, managing to stop her from injuring herself. But then Chloe's body started to spasm, and blood started to pour out of her nose. Her whole body was twitching, her eyes widening as she looked up at the brunette with scared, pleading eyes.

"Chloe. Chloe, it's okay. Shit!"

The brunette screamed for help, looking around frantically for anybody that could be of much use. However, because they were at the other side of the lake, the furthest away from the hospital, nobody was around. It was dark too, so there was no sign of anybody out. And she had no idea what time it was.

"FUCK!" she cried out, hooking her arms under Chloe's head and legs, and picking her up bridal style. She started to run, progressively getting closer and closer to the hospital. She ignored the burning sensation in her arms and legs as she neared the hospital, trying her hardest not to slow down or drop the redhead.

And Chloe was still jerking and shaking in her arms, the blood from her nose running down onto Beca's shirt. Her eyes were open wide, and the brunette didn't look at her in fear of breaking down at the sight of her like that.

"Just stay with me." Beca growled out as she tried with all her might, to run faster. "I swear to fucking God, don't you dare die in my arms."

She felt the redhead slipping out of her arms, literally and figuratively, and she hoisted her up so she could get a better hold on her. Her nose had stopped bleeding, but she was still shaking and jerking in her arms. Eventually, Beca made it to the entrance, kicking the door open with her foot as she rushed inside.

"SOMEONE HELP!" she screamed at nobody in particular, looking around with Chloe still in her arms. "She's having a seizure, HELP HER!"

Time seemed to slow down as the nurses took Chloe out of her arms and laid her down on a bed. Tears were running down the brunette's face as she watched her friend get taken away from her for the second time in two days, the bed that she was on getting smaller and smaller as they took her down the hall. She tried to go after her, but a nurse grabbed her arm and told her to wait.

It was only a few minutes later when Beca broke down, collapsing to the ground in a heap of choked sobs and angry screams. All she could think about was how close she was to telling Chloe that she's only here because of her.

* * *

**A/N: I do apologise for the angst this chapter. I also apologise for not updating for a while. I'm trying my hardest to keep up, but writer's block keeps striking. Thank you all for being patient with this story though. And I do truly appreciate every bit of feedback I get.**


	17. Chapter 17

_**16 hours later...**_

Beca was sat in Janet's office, hugging her legs against her body as she rested her chin on her knees. Her lip was trembling and her eyes were stinging from not sleeping, and she knew that it had been recorded that she hadn't slept, and it would go on her personal record, but frankly she didn't care. It had been hours since the incident, if you could call it that. She couldn't get the images of Chloe out of her head. And not ones that she's fond of either. The sight of her shaking and jerking in her arms, the blood running down her face, and watching her get wheeled off into a hospital room for the second time in the past two days. She was, to put it simply.. absolutely distraught.

She had been in Janet's office for 32 minutes and hadn't said a word. The older woman was being patient with her though, which Beca was thankful for. She didn't really feel like opening up herself to anybody today, despite the fact that it was nobody's fault but her own. She shouldn't have bickered with Chloe. This was now the second time that something had happened to Chloe after they had argued, and both of the times were Beca's fault. At least, she thought they were her fault.

"Beca."

She looked up at the woman with tears in her eyes, not even realising that she had been shaking and whimpering in her chair.

"Beca, honey, do you want to talk about what happened?"

The brunette thought about it for a moment. On one hand, she knew that opening up to Janet would give the woman higher expectations for future sessions, and she didn't really like telling other people about her problems. But then on the other hand, she had to talk about it to somebody, and a therapist was obviously the best person to speak to. Her thoughts were eating her alive, and she didn't know how long she would be able to cope before she did some major damage to herself.

Eventually, Beca nodded her head and put her legs down on the floor, although still trying to make herself look as small as possible in the chair by hunching her shoulders and hugging her body.

"Why don't we start from the beginning? What happened at the lake?"

The brunette closed her eyes, tears immediately trickling out when she opened them. She brought her hand up to her eyes and angrily wiped the tears with the back of it, sniffing up and trying not to wince at how sore her eyes were where she had been rubbing them before.

"We were just talking. It felt so normal, and we sat by the lake, and watched the sunset. And it was nice." she paused, biting her lip nervously.

"You can tell me, Beca." Janet whispered with a soft voice, and Beca brought her head up to meet Janet's eyes.

"She asked me about my family and I couldn't.. I couldn't tell her. Not yet, anyway. I wanted to tell her, I really did."

"Why do you think you couldn't tell her?"

"Because I'm ashamed. And I hate talking about it."

"But Beca, bottling it up inside will only-"

"-make things worse, I know." Beca sighed, pulling her sleeves past her wrists after she noticed that they had rode up her arm. Janet, noticing the action, put down her pen that she was making notes with, and looked at Beca with a sympathetic smile.

"You cut last night, didn't you?"

The brunette's head shot up abruptly, her eyes wide with fear as she shook her head violently.

"No, I didn't!"

"Beca, it's okay. I won't tell anyone. What happens in this room stays in this room, okay? There are no cameras or recording devices; just me and you. You can tell me."

Beca's face softened, and her eyes teared up as she looked down, nodding her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and brought her fists up to her face, knocking on her temples as she muttered "stupid, stupid, stupid" to herself.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she opened her eyes to see that Janet had come around the table and was kneeling next to her chair.

"It's okay, Beca." the woman whispered. "I know that it's hard to give up something like that. It's your way of dealing with pain, and it's completely okay. You're not stupid though. Not one bit. I'll tell you, recovery is never easy. I won't sugar coat it for you, because that's not what I do. The truth is, it's difficult, and you're gonna have to fight every single day, and it'll be hell. But the good news?" the woman paused, lifting up Beca's chin so she could look at her properly.

"It's so worth the struggle."

Beca sniffled again, nodding her head as she choked back a sob. And Janet was shocked when she was pulled into a hug by the brunette, her small, fragile arms latching onto her for dear life.

The truth was, she had cut last night. With a bit of broken glass that she had found while she was walking back to her dorm after she was told she wasn't allowed to wait for Chloe. She couldn't really help it. It was there, and it was the only sharp thing that she had seen since being in here. And she hated herself for relapsing, but it was the way she dealt with her problems. She couldn't just ignore them like she has been doing lately.

But right now, as she felt her therapists arms wrap tightly around her, she had hope that she would be okay. And she knew that she should never get her hopes up, and she shouldn't let hope define her life. Because in the end, hope is what screws you over. It gives you all these dreams of how things could be, and then it gets taken away from you. And truthfully, hope is the real cause of all heartbreak.

But despite all that, she still had hope that things would be okay.

* * *

Chloe stirred in her sleep, turning her body a little, and immediately wincing when she felt her neck stiffen from having slept funny. Her eyes opened lazily, and she blinked a few times to clear the fogginess in them. She brought her hand up to her neck and stretched it, groaning when she felt it crack. Her eyes searched the room, and she yawned as she sat up in bed.

"Miss Beale."

The redhead turned her head to see a doctor stood with a clipboard in his hand, smiling down at her. She eyed him suspiciously, wondering if he had been here the whole time she was sleeping.

"I just came in." the doctor clarified though, as if reading her mind. "I just needed to check your vitals to see if you were doing okay."

"And?" she asked, covering her mouth when she yawned again. And as she looked at the doctor, watching his facial expression change, she knew that something was wrong.

"Miss Beale-"

"-What is it?"

"What you had last night, was an epileptic seizure. The vast majority of the time, epilepsy does not cause these symptoms in a schizeophrenic patient. However, this seizure was not a pseudoseizure. Pseudoseizures are hard to treat, which makes this, not better, but easier to treat. We thought it was just because you were going through some stress at the time, but we were mistaken. It's very rare that someone with schizophrenia has a seizure like this, without getting diagnosed with another illness. Schizophrenia and epilepsy might share some common pathology of the medial temporal lobe, where epileptiform potentials that underlie complex partial seizures most often originate."

The redhead's eyebrows knitted together, and she shook her head confusedly.

"What are you saying?"

"While schizophrenia typically does not cause seizures, epilepsy can sometimes produce symptoms that are similar to schizophrenia. Therefore-"

"-Just spit it out. Please."

The doctor lowered his voice, speaking softly.

"I'm afraid you have epilepsy, Miss Beale. However, because it is early on, and you've only had one reported seizure, we can treat it before it gets too out of hand. The medication that is used to treat epilepsy work by stabilising the electrical activity of the brain. You'll need to take medication every day to control seizures. In about 8 in 10 cases, seizures are well controlled by medication, so-"

The redhead blocked the rest of it out, letting the doctor - Dr Howard, or whatever the fuck his name badge said - drone on about medication, and how he knows it's a lot to take in, and how he's sorry and _blah blah fucking blah._

In fact it wasn't until Chloe heard the door open, fast enough to almost break the hinges, that she was pulled out of her reverie. Immediately, she gasped at the sight of who was at the door.

"Beca."

"Hey." The brunette whispered gently, quickly walking over to the bed and grabbing hold of Chloe's hand. She smiled at her, trying not to let herself breakdown at what she had just been told outside by one of the nurses.

"Bec, I have epil-"

"-I know." Beca interrupted when she heard the redhead's voice break, and she immediately pulled the redhead in for a hug. She ran her hands through Chloe's hair, closing her eyes as Chloe finally broke down and sobbed into her shirt.

"You're gonna be okay, Chlo."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: For all of you wondering what Iris looks like, I first pictured her as Anne Hathaway with short blonde hair. So if you wanna google that, then that's what I had in mind when creating her character. And as the naming part goes, I honestly didn't even think of Brittany's character in 'Would You Rather.' It was just a big coincidence that her name was Iris too. I don't think it would have been realistic to have another one of Brittany's characters to be Beca's ex, as she would look exactly like**** Chloe. So yeah. Anne Hathaway. Short blonde hair. Particularly at the May 2013 Met Gala. And, that's it. Hope y'all are enjoying the story!**

* * *

Chloe finally was let out of the hospital two days later, and was now back in her psych hospital dorm with Beca. After being diagnosed, and being told the news, Chloe felt like resting for a few hours. And of course, Beca stayed by her side all night, despite Chloe telling her to go back to her dorm to get some rest. Instead, Beca laid in Chloe's bed next to her, and held her as they drifted off together.

Yesterday, the two of them spent all day talking, watching movies, and just being together. Beca had even nipped back to her dorm for her laptop, and showed Chloe a few more of her mixes that she had made for her. The doctors had given Chloe some new meds, which had already made her throw up more times than she thought was necessary, but they were helping. She hadn't had any more seizures, epileptic nor schizophrenic. Part of it, she thought, was because Beca was here to distract her. The brunette had all the right answers, and she always knew what to say or what to do, to make Chloe feel better. Over the past two days, the two of them had become even closer. And what surprised Chloe, is that Beca opened up to her more about Iris.

Iris was an art major, and they met in the library when Beca was in Freshman year at Barden University. The brunette found herself telling Chloe a lot about Iris. That she was five foot six and a half. That she had short blonde hair, and beautiful brown eyes. That her smile was beautiful, and she loved to read. That she loved the beach, and she was secretly a little kid in an 18 year old's body. Their relationship was far from perfect, but Beca had never been happier than when she was with Iris. Except maybe now, she thought, being with Chloe was the equivalent of being with her ex. Being with Chloe was a roller coaster ride, but she wouldn't change it for anything. And despite the fact that they were in here, probably the most depressing place anyone could ever be; they found solace in each other. They felt safe with each other, and they loved spending time together.

So Beca opened up, and she told Chloe everything about Iris. About how they met, their first date, their first kiss, the first time they said "I love you", their first fight, that time when Beca thought Iris was missing, but she had in fact fallen asleep on the roof, and Beca had been looking for her for hours. That time when Iris talked Beca into going to a fancy dress party, and they dressed up as Tigger and Winnie The Pooh - Beca being the latter, - because they were Iris' favourite book characters. That time when they found two kittens on their own in the pouring rain, meowing in a damp, cold box, with nothing but some watered out milk; and Beca convinced Iris to keep them for a while until they found a better home for them, and she ended up calling them Simon and Garfunkel. She told her everything she could think of, and Chloe would have found this weird if it was anybody else. Talking about their ex. But this was Beca, and she knew that the brunette didn't open up intimate details like this with anybody. She felt special, sitting her and hearing Beca talk about something she loved so dearly.

But then the inevitable talk about her death crept up. And at first, Beca wasn't going to say anything. She had already opened up so many details about her life with Chloe, and she didn't feel like talking about one of the worst memories of her life to her. It was as if she didn't want to scare Chloe away. By talking about this, it opened up something deep within her though, and she felt.. better about it. She hadn't talked about Iris' death to anybody since it happened a year ago.

A year and four days to be exact. That was the reason the old emails from her was up on her laptop four days ago, when the two of them were watching a movie in Beca's dorm. It was a year since Iris had died, and the brunette had been in her room that morning, reading over their old conversations. And although it wasn't the best idea, seeing as most of the emails were serious, it still made her feel a little happy to get to remember the memories with her ex girlfriend. But now, talking about Iris with Chloe, almost made it seem like she was getting closure. That she was accepting that she was finally gone.

One of Beca's new mixes was playing softly in the background as Beca rested her head on the headboard, looking down at Chloe. And the redhead was resting her head on Beca's stomach as she looked up at her.

"What happened?"

"We broke up two years ago. She cheated on me with another guy, his name was Brad. Typical high school jock. Played football, had a douchey haircut, and abs of steel." Beca sniffed, running her hands through Chloe's hair as she spoke. "Anyway, four months later, after I stupidly decided that she should get another chance, we got back together. I don't know what possessed me to do it. I was stupid, and in love, I guess."

"That's understandable." Chloe whispered, letting the brunette know that she was listening, and she was taking the information in.

"8 months later, we decided to go on a road trip. She had just received a shit load of money for her birthday, and I still had money in my savings account. So we rented a car, and she had always wanted to go to Miami. I don't know why we didn't fly over there, but she told me that she wanted to stop in um-Orlando on the way. So uh.. she drove, because she knew where she was going. A-And um.."

Chloe could tell that this was the part that Beca was afraid of telling her. Just by the tone of her voice, and the way she was pausing a lot more, let Chloe know that this was hard for her. So the redhead lifted her arm and rested her hand over the brunette's that was stroking through her hair. She entwined her fingers with Beca's, looking up at her and giving her a reassuring smile. A few seconds later, the brunette took a deep breath and carried on.

"We made it to Orlando, and we went to Disney, and it was just.. It was so weird seeing her acting like a little kid. She was taking so many pictures, and she looked so at ease. It was so different to how she was back at home. She was genuinely happy, and it was so great to witness that. Anyway, we stayed in Orlando, and hit the road again three days later. Iris was tired, so I decided to take over driving. It was only fair that I drove the rest of the way. But that night, we were on the highway, and.. it was raining. And a truck was in front of us, and it.. it overturned. And I didn't know what to do, so I just swerved out of the way, and.. the road was just so slippy from the rain, and the car just kept spinning. I was.. God, I was so fucking scared. I didn't know what was happening."

The brunette's hand gripped Chloe's a little tighter, but the redhead didn't say anything. She just looked up at the brunette, watching her try to blink back her tears as she recapped the even that happened a year ago.

"It felt like the car was spinning for hours, but then eventually... eventually we hit a post on the side of the road. And.. and her side of the car. The post crushed her side of the car. The impact caused her internal bleeding in her lungs. She.. she died before the medics got there."

The brunette finally let the tears fall, and Chloe immediately sat up when she heard the brunette whimper. She shuffled so she was sat next to her, and she wrapped her arms around the brunette as she let her cry into her shoulder. All she could do was whisper the occasional "shh, it's okay" and stroke the back of the brunette's head, as Beca cried for what felt like hours. And Chloe's shirt was soaked with tears, and her leg cramped up a while ago from being sat in an awkward position; but she didn't move. She just held Beca, like the brunette had held her many times before.

Finally, when Beca had stopped crying, and her sobs had died down into silence, the redhead pulled away and cupped Beca's face in her hands.

"Thank you for telling me that. I know that was really hard for you."

The brunette just nodded, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on Chloe's lips. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the redhead's, thinking about what she should say next. Her mind was only thinking of one thing though. One thing that she wasn't planning on telling Chloe until at least a week. But before she knew it, she had pulled back, looked into Chloe's eyes, and whispered the three little words that had been eating at her for days.

"I'm leaving soon."


	19. Chapter 19

"You're.. you're what?" Chloe asked breathily, shaking her head slightly as her eyebrows knitted together.

_**This couldn't be happening.**_

She scooted closer to the brunette, frowning when she saw tears in her eyes.

"10 days." the brunette whispered as she felt Chloe's hands on her arms, gripping them slightly as she looked into her eyes. "I'm leaving in 10 days."

"Wh.. why? How come?"

"My contract said six weeks. I've been in here four weeks and four days already."

"So.. so you're.. you're leaving? Where are you gonna go? Will I still get to see you?"

The brunette nodded with a reassuring smile as she took Chloe's hand in hers, running her fingers over her wrist. "Of course you'll get to see me."

"But.. but I need you. You can't leave."

"Hey, I'm not leaving yet." Beca reasoned with her, bringing a hand up to cup Chloe's face. She ran her thumb over the redhead's cheek, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.

The redhead nodded, leaning in to Beca's touch. She turned her head to the side, resting her lips on Beca's palm as the brunette's eyes searched hers.

"I'm gonna miss you." Chloe whispered with a nervous laugh, bringing her hand up to wipe a tear in the corner of her eye.

"Shh, don't think about that." Beca shook her head.

"I can't not think about it, Beca. You're leaving. What if I never get to see y-"

The redhead was cut off by Beca's soft lips on hers, silencing her for the moment as the two of them melted into the kiss. It was slow and gentle, and despite the fact that it was only chaste, it still took Chloe's breath away. The brunette could feel Chloe's tears running down her face, and she squeezed her eyes shut and broke the kiss when Chloe let out a choked sob.

"Please don't cry." Beca whispered, eyes still closed as she rested her forehead against Chloe's.

The redhead sniffed, bringing her hand up to wipe her tears. After rubbing her cheeks, she moved her hands to Beca's face. Her fingers lightly traced the brunette's jawline, nimble fingertips dancing over her soft skin.

"We're gonna be okay, right?" Chloe asked quietly, her voice sounding small and vulnerable.

And the brunette nodded, opening her eyes so she could look at Chloe.

"We're gonna be fine."

* * *

_**8 years ago...**_

_**"Mom."**_

_**"Yeah, sweetie?"**_

_**The brunette smiled painfully, sitting down on the edge of her mothers hospital bed. She took in the sight of the room, the machines, the IV drips, the oxygen tanks, and the monitors. All surrounding Sarah Mitchell's bed. **__**She looked worn out. Her eyes weren't as bright as they were a few months back. Her skin was greying, her hair was missing, and her body was frail, - Beca was worried that she would break if she so much as touched her.**_

_**"How are you feeling?" Beca asked, despite how much she knew that her mom would lie, just so she wouldn't worry. However, the older woman just shook her head with a painful grimace.**_

_**"I feel like I have cancer."**_

_**The brunette closed her eyes, a tear immediately falling down her face when she opened them.**_

_**"Beca."**_

_**"Yeah?"**_

_**"C'mere." the woman held her hand out, and Beca took it in hers as she scooted closer to her mother.**_

_**The woman smiled up at her, the light that was once in her eyes now a glistening dullness as she ran her thumb over Beca's small hand.**_

_**"I love you, you know that?"**_

_**"I love you too." Beca nodded.**_

_**"Can you promise me something?"**_

_**The brunette nodded again, not trusting her words, in case she broke down. And that was the last her mother needed right now. At least one of them had to be strong right now.**_

_**"Promise me that whatever happens, you won't quit singing." Sarah whispered, causing Beca's eyebrows to raise. "Promise me that you'll go to college, and you'll pursue a career in what you want. Don't let anybody tell you what to do."**_

_**"What about dad?" the brunette asked in a small voice, causing her mother to laugh breathily.**_

_**"That man won't lay a hand on you. You can do whatever you want with your life."**_

_**"But-"**_

_**"-No buts." her mother said, squeezing her hand with a small smile.**_

_**"You're gonna be okay. Right?" **_

_**Sarah nodded, pulling Beca towards her. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and buried her chin into her shoulder.**_

_**"I'm gonna be fine."**_

* * *

Beca shook her head of her thoughts, tears immediately welling in her eyes at the memory of her mother's last conversation with her. She pulled away from Chloe, mumbling that she needed to use the bathroom as she quickly stood up and ran to the en suite. As she shut the door behind her, locking it quickly, she already felt the tears running down her face.

She leaned her forehead against the door, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to get rid of the images of her dying mother out of her mind. It had been 8 years, and she still remembers the day she got the news that her mother had passed. With how painful it was, you'd have thought she would have tried her hardest to forget it all by now. And trust her, she has tried. Many times. Every day, she tries to forget the day that she came home from school to see her father drunk out of his mind with her mom's favourite scarf gripped in his hand, tears streaming down his face. Every day, she sees her mother's face, telling her that she loves her, and that she wants her to do well.

She can't help but wonder how her mother would feel if she knew Beca was in here. If she knew that Beca had tried to kill herself, and that her little Beca was in love with a woman, and that she hadn't sung in years until just the other day. Her mother wanted two things from her; to finish college and be successful. Two simple things. But now, she's in here, and no doubt she's fucked up her senior year already.

Before Beca knew it, she had turned around and slid down the wall, trying to silence her sobs with her hands. She wanted so bad to get the razor, but she knew that it wouldn't do her any good. Plus, she wasn't in her own dorm, and Chloe didn't have anything sharp in her bathroom.

She just needed to feel something.

"Beca."

The brunette's head shot up at the sound of Chloe's voice, and her knocking on the door.

"You okay?" the redhead asked, and Beca wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as she stood up.

"Yeah, I'll be right out."

She walked over to the toilet and flushed it, before moving over to the sink. She turned the tap on and splashed some water on her face, drying it off with a towel before looking into the mirror. Shaking her head, she puffed out a breath before walking over to the door and unlocking it.

"I've just noticed, it's almost 5, so we should be going for dinner. I think the special tonight is beef, so if we-hey, are you okay?"

The brunette nodded, moving over to the redhead's bed to pick her hoodie up.

"Bec, what's the matter?" Chloe asked as she approached the brunette, taking her hand in hers.

"I'm fine."

"You're clearly not. Have you been crying in there? What's hap-"

"-I said I'm fine, Chloe, just drop it." the brunette snapped as she walked over to the door, opening it and turning to look at the redhead.

Boy, did she regret that.

Chloe's jaw was set in a thin line again, a hurt look on her face as she stormed towards the door, straight past Beca.

The brunette just sighed, following Chloe down the hall after shutting the door behind her.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so I don't want to be one of _those_ writers, but it would honestly mean a lot to me if I could get a few more reviews for each chapter. The feedback started off great, and I love reading what you all have to say, and I love learning from your feedback; but I can't exactly improve if nobody leaves any. (Trying not to sound pretentious here.)**


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